I’ve seen many articles published lately about both sides of this topic. I understand that everyone has an opinion, but you could also be like me and your opinion is this: you don’t have to decide, and you won’t.
To the girls who choose their boyfriend: Good for you. You found love and you dove head first into it. My boyfriend is my best friend and I choose him all day, every day because I love him. I understand that you’d rather hang out with your best friend and do cute things with him and don’t feel the need to go out and drink and talk to strangers. I understand if you don’t like the party lifestyle and you feel completely content in being homey and committed. Trust me, I back you up because some days, I am that way as well. Even if your relationship entails going out, getting drunk and partying, that's awesome that you found a partner in crime to do that with. I love going on dates with my man and cooking dinner with him and yet still going out and getting drunk with him. I love knowing that I go home every night to someone who loves me and appreciates me and we have something that’s so special that I’d do anything for him. I do choose him. I choose him to be my forever and to stand by him and our relationship, and I don’t blame you that, so don’t let anyone shame you for deciding that, as well.
To the girls who choose their girlfriends over a boyfriend: Good for you, too. You have girlfriends who are there for you, who are your sisters. They are your best friends and accept you for who you are. There are there through the good times and the bad. No, you don’t necessarily go out and look for a guy to hook up with or take so many shots that you find yourself hanging over a toilet. To that, don’t let someone make you feel like you have to be put into a category that just because you’re not in a relationship. That doesn’t mean you fit the stereotype of a party girl or someone who is undatable. Hell, even if you do live that way, good! Own it because it’s your life. You have your friends, your career, your whole life, and who’s to say that’s wrong? No one. You could even have a boyfriend and still, choose your girlfriends because they’ve been with you longer and there for you since day one- GOOD. Do that. Choose them. I support it because I have friends who my boyfriend knows come first. If they need me, I’m there because they are my sisters, not just my friends. You choose your friends because they have always been there and you’d be lost without them, and that’s more than okay.
So here’s where my opinion comes in. I will not decide between my friends and my boyfriend, and I don’t ever intend to. If my friends feel like my boyfriend is taking over my life and that’s wrong, then maybe the way they’re looking at it is not the way I intend to make them feel. Maybe they’re looking at it as them losing a friend, where it’s really just me creating a separate part of my life. If they really see I’m happy, wouldn’t they be happy for me? I’ve lost friends over boyfriends before and at the end of the day, I’ve only ever learned that they weren’t my real friends, to begin with. But it goes both ways.
It’s all about balance. It’s about being able to say to your boyfriend that you miss your friends and want a weekend with them. It’s him respecting that and encouraging you to be with them. If he’s keeping you away from them, then maybe he is a problem. That’s something for you to look at and decide and if he’s causing problems, maybe listen to your friends’ opinions, but ultimately make a decision that’s best for you.
My point is that everyone has their own path to take. Who are you to say that the girl who chooses her boyfriend is wrong? Who are you to say the girl who chooses her friends is wrong? Truth is, neither is wrong. You don’t have to decide or choose between the two. You just need to do what makes you happy and let the rest fall into place.
