I’m going to start off by saying hi because that’s usually how you start a letter, right? So, hello. I’m not sure where you went, but I hope you’ve found your place. However, I’d like to take a moment to catch you up with how life’s been going for me.
Firstly, I have a boyfriend. What a shock, right? Not only that, but we’ve been dating for over a year! You and I both know we’ve never invested so much time into someone before, but I’m glad I did with this one. You’d like him. He treats me kindly, gently, like a cool breeze against your skin. And he’s just as weird and dorky as I am. I know what you’re thinking, “You don’t deserve someone like that!” Yeah, I would’ve agreed with you a few months back, but I’ve been through some things that have made me realize some things.
The last time I was with you, I didn’t face the fact that I had depression. Well, that’s changed. Not only did I confront the truth, I even explained things to those around me (see, told you I’ve changed). I mean in reality it took a lot of courage out of me that I didn’t have, along with a lot of struggling, which I still go through; but, I’m slowly understanding that I do deserve good things in life. I know you probably don’t agree and that’s okay because I understand, you’ve always been stubborn like that. Funnily enough, I still share that similarity with you. Even though we visit each other now and again, I really hope you enjoy where you’re at. Ya know, enjoy it to the point of not coming back. It’s not that I hate you, but I don’t love you either. I care for you and always will, but I can only do that at a distance. I know you’ll understand. After all, we were the same person. Yes, were.
The things I’ve been through recently, have taught me that change is okay. It has taught me that it’s alright to let go of the “friends” you thought you’d hold onto forever. Basically, it’s just taught me that it’s okay to explore before finding the true you. So far, I’ve learned that I love fashion. Who knew?! I know you hate the fact of applying makeup, going shopping and actually deciding what you’re going to wear tomorrow. You’re most likely rolling your eyes right about now…I’ll change the subject just for you (told you I still care).
Let’s see…oh! I’m beginning to understand what it means to love yourself and I’m beginning to try it. I still have some trouble because of your random pop-ins (least you could do is give your girl a warning every once in awhile). We’ve been through a lot and we can’t go through anymore. I know you’ll be there when I need a cry, when I need to break something, or just when I need to talk. But please, I beg of you, only come when I ask. We’ll both be happier and healthier that way, I promise.
One last thing, I will never forget you. I will never forget all the times you were there for me through high school. We have some good memories, but they’re in the past. And, along with you, that’s where they should stay.
Sincerely,
The Better You
