Most every woman can admit that their first love was at a young, maybe even a naïve, age. In my opinion, it is called a first because it is a learning experience, anyway. I know what I would consider my first love was not perfect by any means, but it made me a stronger person. The cliché thing to say is that we all change after breakups, especially for the better. Often, we don’t change our ways and we continue to find ourselves in the same situations over and over, which is okay. Learning takes time and happens at different rates.

Throughout high school, and even now in college, I have had so many friends that are in toxic relationships. If it wasn’t you personally, you know someone who has been in this situation. When it's happening to your best friend you just want to punch her boyfriend in the face and tell him what an a** he is for the way he treats her, but when it's you, it is so much different. You want to remind yourself why you love him, what caught your eye about him in the first place. You tell yourself that if he didn’t love you he wouldn’t be with you right now, or that because he told you that he loves you it makes situation alright. I know what its like to have that person that makes your heart literally skip a beat when they walk in, the person that makes you forget why you were having a rough day and the same person who you rush to see and drag out the goodbye for. Nothing feels better compared to those moments. But, when those happy moments start to happen less and the feeling of being alone occurs more, that is when it turns into something toxic.

I have become a person that believes that if you truly love someone you can always find a way to work things out. I have a few clauses to this belief, but usually, it stands. For the first time in my life, I had to make the decision to make myself happy over making a relationship happy. When you start to put in all the work on your own, or even when you start to feel that way, it gets hard. People take the girls that can do this for granted, the girls that will literally do anything to make the relationship work are the ones you should keep. People often call these girls weak, they think that they are letting their boyfriends dictate their decisions and they are just blind to the situation. Chances are, deep down somewhere inside, you know what is going on, but you don’t want to admit it. You know that this can no longer work and you are just prolonging the inevitable, this is where I found myself. I had to walk away from someone I loved and cherished so much, not because he was a bad person or because he cheated on me, but because I saw I needed to choose myself over him for the first time since our relationship. I had to choose loving and taking care of myself and that is harder than it seems when you love someone. It is something that makes you feel weak because you are walking away from someone who used to be your best friend, or your rock, someone who made you feel alive inside and someone who you once couldn’t picture yourself without.

So, to the girls that choose themselves: You are enough. You are unbreakable. You are incredibly strong and worthy. Choosing to love yourself will just make the right someone love you more. You are my heroes.