I just recently watched the movie "A Girl Like Me," and if you haven't watched it then you should. It is about a girl who tries to commit suicide because she is being bullied. The difference with this movie is that they show not only the victim's perspective on bullying, but also the bully's perspective on bullying. I cried throughout the entire movie because I know what it is like to be on the side of the victim.

My sophomore year of high school I was bullied by someone who I considered to be my friend. At first I thought he was just having a rough day and taking his anger out on me, but then his actions towards me never did end. Some days were better than others, but some days I didn't understand why I was even on this earth.

I was so ashamed to talk about it, and for the longest time I didn't tell anyone. I was hurting and I was too afraid to speak out about it. I have always been known for having a smile on my face even when I was hurting which is why most of my friends had no idea it was happening. I would go to school like normal and then go to track practice right after school was over with. Nothing on the outside seemed to change to anyone, but I knew that on the inside I was broken.

Sometimes I would go to school and the first words out of his mouth were either the "B" word or he would call me fat. There was one point I had a track meet after school so the norm of the track team was to wear their track shorts and our team t shirt. I kept hearing laughter and it was coming from the guy. I had no idea why he kept laughing at me so I began to feel very self-conscious. Then I found out he was going around telling people I looked like a pig in my shorts and that I should never wear shorts again.

I have always been self-conscious of my weight, but that was the moment I felt ashamed to be me. I remember after track that day I went home and told my mom I was called fat for wearing shorts to school. She knew that I had always had trouble with this boy, but the look on her face when I told her that made me feel awful because I knew that she was hurting for me. That's when I decided I couldn't tell my mom all of the other things that happened that year because she would have been broken by that.

I ended up talking to one of my friends that night telling him I was never wearing shorts to school again because of that boy and he said, "If you are considered fat than I must be a whale then". He ended up making me feel better, but for the longest time I refused to wear shorts during school because I hated being called fat.

The next year I ended up switching schools because we found a house in a different town and it would be a new start for everyone in my family. I thought by moving I wouldn't have to tell anyone about my bullying. That was until I received messages saying the boy was still spreading rumors and calling me names at that school. He would say things like, "I'm glad that fat girl is gone." "She was "b." No one liked her anyways." "Hopefully she is gone for good." It hurt so much to be at a new school and still have to carry that with me.

I hated myself sophomore year. I remember thinking what did I do to make him hate me so much. Then I slowly began to think, "I don't blame him for hating me because sometimes I hate myself".

Later on my junior year I accepted that I was a victim of bullying. Instead of letting that hinder me I let it build me up. I took his hatred towards me to make me stronger. I often wonder what I would do if I ever saw him again, and one day I did see him again and I smiled at him. Sophomore year may have been his way of defeating me, but when I saw him again senior year that I was my way of saying, "Game over and this time you lost."

Being bullied is something that people undermine. Some people say it's harmless joking, but to the victim it is not harmless. It hurts. It is the worst feeling in the world to have someone hate you so much they go out of their way to make you feel like you are scum of the earth. Some people see suicide as the only way out, and if that is not a message about how deep bullying is then maybe people need to reevaluate how they see bullying.