I’ve been there. Part of me is still there. I know what you’re feeling and it sucks. I’m so sorry. It doesn’t matter how the breakup happened, whether you hate your ex or not, it all sucks. You feel empty, you feel so alone and all you can do right now is wonder why and question every little thing. You’re probably wondering why it happened? What did you do wrong? How could your best friend just leave you like that? Does he like someone else? You just question everything.

Everyone is giving you good advice right now and while it’s all really good advice, nothing really helps. It truly is much easier said than done. People keep telling you to forget him, they remind you what he did to you and that he’s the reason you’re hurting. But no matter what they say or how bad you’re hurting, you have one thing on your mind: him. Some days all you do is cry. Some days you just want to lay in your bed all day and never leave. Some days you do everything you can to be where he’s going to be so that you can see him, but mostly so he can see you.

You want him to notice you but trust me, it doesn’t work so don’t waste your time. You want to text him so bad but you need to remember and accept that he does not want to talk to you because if he did he would. You have to give him space, but more importantly do it to give yourself space. Be strong and do not send that text even though I know you want to so bad. Don’t. Send it to your best friend instead. Change her name in your phone to his name if it helps, send her a goodnight and good morning text, ask her about her day, tell her the exciting little things that happen to you that you used to tell him. Just whatever you do, DON’T text him. It only makes you sad and whether he replies or not, it usually makes it worse. Don’t beat yourself up over it because I’ve been there and I did the same thing. I’m trying to save you from making the same mistakes I did, which in the long run, made the healing process way longer than it should’ve been.

It’s OK to be sad, you have every right to be sad so turn on a sappy romantic movie and eat those chocolates in your bed tonight and just cry. Turn on that old song from middle school that you still know every word to. Sing and dance in your tiny dorm room just because you can, I promise if you’re as bad of a dancer as me, you’ll laugh.

I know right now you can’t see a picture of the two of you without crying. You can’t pass him on campus without tears forming in your eyes and it takes everything in you to not cry. Right now, you can’t even pass his dorm or hear his name without your stomach dropping and getting that awful lump in your throat. It all just makes you sick, I know it happens, I know how you feel and I’m sorry. While all of this is so true and acceptable- at some point you have to and will start to feel better. You have to start trying to be happy and step by step you’ll be able to laugh as hard as you did with him. You’ll be able to see your favorite picture of y’all and you won’t cry but instead, you’ll be thankful for the memory. You’ll be able to hear or say his name without getting butterflies and soon enough, you’ll be able to see him and say hey without using everything you have to hold back the tears. Then you’ll actually kind of understand why you’ve been put in this situation:

To find yourself.

Maybe you already know who you are and what defines you but if you don’t this is the perfect opportunity to find out. Focus on everything about you. Thank God every day for what He has given you. Pray a little longer tonight. Open that Bible that you brought to school and haven’t touched yet. Find encouraging verses and read them. I promise it helps. Open your eyes and look how blessed you are and realize that with or without him you still have everything you need right in front of you to be happy and successful. So, go to the library tonight, study a little extra for that test. Make good grades, paint your nails. Text that person you lost touch with, tell someone you’ve been thinking about them, write someone a hand-written letter. Believe it or not, you will feel so happy when you make other people happy. Keep yourself so busy that you don’t have time to crawl in bed and cry. Try something new that you’ve been wanting to do but you just haven’t. Do stuff that makes you happy. Write yourself a letter to read every time you get sad and please, don’t beat yourself up when you do have those moments where you still cry because it is OK to not be OK!

I promise you that everything gets better. The pain goes away one day at a time and you will start to feel good. Soon enough, you’ll look back on this and be able to see how far you’ve come and look at how strong you are.

You are strong. You are beautiful. You are loved. You are never alone. Remember that and I promise, you will be OK.

Sincerely,

The girl that’s been here for a while