To the girl who’s afraid to get close

I know how scary it is, I know how completely terrifying it is for you to put yourself out there because every time you have you’ve been left alone, sitting in the same corner of your bed crying until it doesn’t hurt anymore.

You can probably go down a list of a bunch of different guys who cheated on you, took advantage of you, led you on, and made you look and feel so stupid when he told the whole school rumors about you that made you do nothing but hate yourself.

You’ve had your best friends by your side to give you the advice that you thought would make you feel better and you’ve had those few “nice guys” that have come up to you and wished you nothing but the best, saying, “It’s OK, you’ll find someone, if anyone deserves happiness, it’s you.”

And you thank them with your kind smile and try to take in the sweet words, but you can’t help but realize that they do not matter , none of the advice you’re hearing from anyone matters because nothing is ever going to change.

You have to become your own “best friend” your own “nice guy” to give yourself the honest advice that no one is telling you.

You have to tell yourself that YOU are your best friend, the only person who is ever going to tell you how it is, is yourself. You aren’t going to spare your own feelings in order to try and make yourself feel better because YOU know, it's going to take a lot more than that to mend your heart.

Your best friend isn’t going to tell you that the heartbreak is over, that all the crappy guys are gone because that's not the truth. The heartbreak is far from over, the crappy guys are just about taking over the world, so you’ll see plenty in your lifetime. But, he/she isn’t going to tell you that, so you have to rely on yourself, you have to become your own best friend, you have to become content with this idea of being alone because it is easy.

Being alone doesn’t set you up for heartbreak, being alone doesn’t set you up for any of the reasons we all stay up till 2 a.m. crying about.

You have to learn to be okay with being alone and loving yourself. In a way, all your past relationships failed to do so and at first it may not seem bad, but as life goes on you realize that this is not the lifestyle you want, it's the lifestyle you feel forced to have because that one guy or those multiple guys made you feel scared to date, they are the reason you feel scared to get close to anyone and they’re the reason you don’t let anybody in.

You have become obsessed with the reason that something is wrong with you, and that something is wrong with the way you love someone, and that something is wrong with your body because you haven’t met the right guy to show you otherwise, but it's not your fault.

It's not your fault that those guys didn’t show you the love and attention that you deserved, it's not your fault that they gave up on you before the chance was ever given.

The article isn’t the most uplifting thing you could be reading because you know all of it is true, you know that for a time in your life, big or small, you felt the need to seclude yourself and take on life on your own, even though you shouldn’t have had to, and at another point in your life, you gave up on relationships, even though before the water works and the heartbreak came, you were happy.

You can’t deny being happy in your past relationships, nobody can, you were happy until you weren’t. You were happy until his attitude started changing, and you were happy until you were no longer a priority, and you were happy until he “got old” of the idea of you and moved onto the next.

But despite all that, I don’t want to be a hypocrite and be that “best friend” who doesn’t give you the honest advice and I can’t tell you that the advice I’m giving will come in handy on your next relationship because you never know. You never know if the next guy will sweep you off your feet and carry you into the sunset, or if the next guy will sweep you off your feet just to throw you back later down the road.

I know how scary it is to get close to someone, I've been there, I’m still there every once in awhile, but you have to keep hoping and looking on the bright side of things hoping that one day it will get easier to put yourself out there.

Although there are plenty of them out there, not all guys are crappy, one day you’ll find a guy who treats you like all the others never did, and one day you’ll find a guy who makes it worth taking the risk on and worth fighting for and fighting with, you’ll find a guy that will make you regret taking the time to spend your life alone, you’ll find a guy that will give you purpose.

The point of life isn’t to live it alone, it’s to live it with someone who matters, someone worth sharing it with, and as much of a “cliche best friend” comment as it is, trust me, it may happen overnight, it may happen in a month, or it may take the rest of your life until you reach 30 to find the right person, but one day, you will.

You can’t keep spending your life with a fear of getting close, a fear of letting someone in because when you meet a guy, they are not “out to hurt you”, at least not in the beginning.

You’re going to go through your life and stumble across so many “wrong guys” but one day you’ll find the “right guy” and it’ll make all this pointless, crybaby drama over the “list” of crappy guys seem childish and pointless, but as i said before it’ll be so unbelievably worth it, so stop being so afraid to get hurt, because things almost always tend to get worse before they get better, but don’t let that ever stop you from finding love, because when you do get close to someone and you do find love, you’ll be internally grateful that you took the chance to let this person in.

So I'm here to leave you with a little quote I found searching the web as I cried in my bedroom one night thinking of all the heartbreaking moments I've gone through, it turned out to be surprisingly true and relatable so now I am leaving it for you, whether you're reading this article as you sit in your bed crying at 3 in the morning or even if you just took the time out of your day to read it, here you go...

"Stop being afraid of what could go wrong, and think of what could go right."