I’ve had a lot of “best friends” in my 20 years of life.

And not all of them were — ironically — the best. I’ve had one-sided friendships, friendships in which I wasn’t able to be my one hundred percent self in, and friendships where we were only friends because we saw each other in class every day.

I’ve had friendships that either ended up in flames or we just naturally grew apart — which is fine. I’ve learned to accept all my failed friendships.

And when I say “failed friendships,” I don’t mean it in a bad way. I’m not upset or hurt that they didn’t work out. I understand that that’s just life. Not everyone you meet is meant to be in your life forever.

However, that doesn’t mean they didn’t use to serve a special place in my heart. So…

Dear Ghosts of Best Friends Pasts,

Thank you. To each and every one of you.

I know we don’t speak anymore. I don’t blame either of us.

Whatever happened to break us apart, I’m past it. I’m sure there’s some closure needed for a few of my failed friendships, and I’m not sure if I’ll ever get that closure, but I’m at peace with it now. I’ve long accepted the friendships that have died.

I just hope you’re all happy. Genuinely happy. And that you’ve also grown as much as I have. That life after middle school or high school — wherever we left off — has treated you well.

I also hope that none of you hate me either, because, well, I don’t hate any of you. At some point, you were one of the most important people in my life. I could never hate someone I once loved.

Regardless of how we left off, I’m so incredibly thankful for each and every one of you. For being there for me when I was at my lowest to being there for me when I’ve made my biggest accomplishments.

I’m sorry our friendships didn’t last a lifetime, but the life lessons each of you have taught me will stick with me forever.

I genuinely do wish all of you the best.

Sincerely,

Your Ex-Best Friend