2. Actually hear their side. | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Relationships

Relationships Can Be Tricky, Here Are 5 Tips You Should Keep In Mind Next Time You Have A Fight

Is all really fair in love and war?

114
Relationships Can Be Tricky, Here Are 5 Tips You Should Keep In Mind Next Time You Have A Fight
Elizabeth Donado

In This Article:

I've been in a relationship for eight years, and as I said in the title, relationships can be tricky. One minute you're ok, the next minute you're being passive aggressive because your significant other stole a French fry from your plate after they already said they weren't hungry. Instead of letting shit hit the fan, have you thought about how to handle your arguments in a more, well, civil manner? I know it's easy to say that you can handle any argument or that you never lose your cool, but it's actually pretty common for you or your significant other to do these five things.

1. Stop yelling.

Giphy

Even though you don't realize it, you're probably yelling at your boyfriend or girlfriend. That's understandable, things are getting heated and naturally as a human being you just raise your voice when you feel like you need to get your message across. Well, as loud as you may get, yelling isn't going to get your point across l. Take a step back, breathe, lower your tone and proceed to, calmly, speak. The both of you will notice an overall tonal change not only in your voices but the overall atmosphere of your argument. You'll both feel less inclined to feel like you're being scolded by the other person and be less on the defense and way more willing to hear the other one out.

2. Actually hear their side.

Giphy

A lot of the time arguments continue because the other person feels like they aren't being heard. Also, a lot of the time arguments happen because of miscommunication. Start front the beginning, ask them to tell them where their side started and how it got here. Maybe you both can find a common point in your sides that can help you break down the cause of your fight. Breaking things down can help the both of you better understand how you got to this place, it can even help you or them pinpoint the “flaws" in time of events. Basically, communication is key.

3. Don’t post about your fights.

Giphy

Look, I know how bad you want to post on insta or Twitter about how much of a f*ck boy or prissy b**** your s/o is being. Airing out your dirty laundry does not make you feel better. It just shows your immaturity and honestly will just make the situation way worse. Your argument is between you and your partner, Billy, Susan and the white knight trying to take your side do not need to add their input.

4. Do not use offensive language.

Giphy

Using offensive language makes things way worse. This is a given. The moment you start calling each other names is the moment all respect for you or them has gone out the window. It’s easy to get lost in the moment and you can and probably will say something or call them something you mean. Sure, but it doesn’t make it ok. Bringing your selves down to a level where all emotional caution is just thrown out the window just allows this behavior to continue in the future. This is obviously unhealthy for you and them, and it is also a form of verbal abuse. No one deserves to be degraded by name calling and feel like their respect and worth is being torn down.

So quit the name calling.

5. Step away and reconvene.

Giphy

If 1-4 didn’t work out and things just seem to be heating up even more, just stop. Take a hard stop from the conversation and get some space for a little bit. Sometimes taking a few minutes or hours from your argument is the best option. This gives you both time to take a breather and really reflect on what has been said and what you want to say next. Sometimes taking a break from the fight makes you realize that your fight is pretty pointless. When you’re stuck in the heat of the moment, everything seems so frustrating and crazy. Taking a step back can make you realize that fighting over a dirty dish really makes no sense.

Obviously, if your issues are larger than what has been depicted, you both should seek out help. Relationship counseling is a real service that is readily available. If you feel that you are no longer safe because of your argument or your relationship, please seek out help.

Below are links to relationship counseling and emergency hotline information in the case of an emergency.

National Domestic Violence Hotline
800-799-SAFE (7233)
Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week
http://www.ndvh.org

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

A Few Thoughts Every College Freshman Has

The transition into adulthood is never easy

6198
Mays Island
Courtney Jones

Today I started my third week of college at Minnesota State Moorhead. I have survived welcome week, finding my classes on the first day, and being an awkward loner in the dining hall. Even though I have yet to be here for a month, I have already experienced many thoughts and problems that only a new college student can relate to.

Keep Reading...Show less
college

"Make sure to get involved when you're in college!"

We've all heard some variation of this phrase, whether it came from parents, other family members, friends, RAs, or college-related articles. And, like many clichés, it's true for the most part. Getting involved during your college years can help you make friends, build your resume, and feel connected to your campus. However, these commitments can get stressful if you're dealing with personal issues, need to work, or aren't sure how to balance classes and everything else going on during the semester.

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

9 Reasons Why Friends Are Essential In College

College without friends is like peanut butter without jelly.

2937
Bridgaline Liberati and friends
Bridgaline Liberati

In college, one of the essential things to have is friends. Yes, textbooks, a laptop, and other school supplies are important but friends are essential. Friends are that support system everybody needs. The more friends you have the better the support system you have. But you also have someone to share experiences with. And don’t settle for just one or two friends because 8 out of 10 times they are busy and you are studying all alone. Or they have other friend groups that do not include you. Don’t settle for just one or two friends; make as many friends as you can. After the first couple of weeks of college, most friend groups are set and you may be without friends.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

The Power of Dressing Up

Why it pays to leave the hoodie at home.

2161
sneakers and heels
Sister | Brother Style - Word Press

For a moment your world is spinning. The phone alarm has just scared you awake and you’re flooded by daunting thoughts of the day ahead. You have three assignments due and little time to work on them because of your job. You’re running late because you’ve hit snooze one to many times after yesterday’s long hours. You dizzily reach for a hoodie, craving its comfort, and rush for a speedy exit, praying you will have time to pick up coffee. Does this sound familiar?

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

11 Signs You Live At The Library As Told by 'Parks And Recreation'

A few signs that you may live in the library whether you'd like to admit it or not.

2041
brown wooden book shelves with books

Finals week is upon us. It is a magical time of year during which college students everywhere flock to the library in attempt to learn a semester's worth of knowledge in only a week. For some students, it's their first time in the library all semester, maybe ever. Others have slaved away many nights under the fluorescent lights, and are slightly annoyed to find their study space being invaded by amateurs. While these newbies wander aimlessly around the first floor, hopelessly trying to find a table, the OGs of the library are already on the third floor long tables deep into their studies. Here is a few signs that you may live in the library, whether you'd like to admit it or not.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments