This generation seems to have a problem with relationships. Whether it's committing to one or not getting out of one that may not be the best for you. I can speak from personal experiences when I say it's hard to get out of a toxic relationship but 10/10 times it's for the best. Getting out of a toxic relationship can let you grow as a person. In my personal opinion, we need to grow as people and learn what we like before we worry about being in a relationship and learning what your significant other likes.
I have a huge fear of being alone for the rest of my life and feeling alone. This has led me to stick around in some relationships that weren't the best for me as a person or each of us as a unit. There are a lot of red flags to be on the lookout for when in a toxic relationship. If the person your dating is mentally draining and doesn't make you feel the best, the majority of your relationship, then its time to leave.
You shouldn't need to feel guilted into be in a relationship. Recently I had to clarify with someone that I had dated before that we were not dating. Long distance is hard but there is a difference between dating long distance right and dating wrong. If there isn't an effort on either side to come to visit or talk to someone every day then the feelings may be fading. The guy I was with was overly jealous, when one of my guy friends would comment on my Instagram posts he would either comment back tagging them, text me pissed or in the case of the other day would text my friend directly.
Mentally I was swimming in circles. Trying to hold onto the happy relationship we had started out with that was fading fast. He turned into a possessive petty guy. And it's perfectly okay to not be attracted to someone anymore. I had noticed that he had begun to let himself go, not really eating healthily and not working out. May sound selfish but...
Then the other day when I was at a sorority retreat I had a message from my best friend, my guy friend and a missed call from my ex (who was convinced we were still dating). He wouldn't stop trying to contact me after I had told him I was at something important. When I got home that day we talked on the phone and it didn't end well. The whole phone call was shitting on me, blaming me for coming into his life and making him think I cared so much about him, "making" him spend all the money he doesn't have on me and apparently I was treating him like shit for needing to take some personal days and not text anyone.
In the end, I realized that it wasn't worth it to stay in a relationship with someone who feels like they're giving so much to you when they really aren't. It's not about the money or sex, it's about the memories and effort, the late-night phone calls that make you smile and the occasional letter in the mail. It shouldn't be a mental mind game dating someone, it should just come easily.
I could tell that I was falling out of love when slowly I just wouldn't want to message him anymore and when he mentioned about coming to visit or transfer schools to be with me it hit me in the pit of my stomach. I started to detach myself from the relationship and when I took a step back to analyze it from afar I realized how bad the relationship actually was. We both would constantly get mad with each other for stupid things and even when we were home together he would push me to do things I didn't want to like going to a party at his friend's house who I knew didn't like me. But he guilted me into by saying how I never did anything for him and he would be mad if I didn't go.
I began to see the door slamming shut on our happy relationship. It's hard to let something go but sometimes you just have to.