For a while now, I’ve been feeling extremely unmotivated, physically and mentally unwell, and I’ve been going through a lot of stress, even with school on break. In fact, for some absurd, ironic reason, school was a stress reliever for me.

I enjoyed my classes and loved my professors — it made me forget that I was facing a life-threatening battle with cancer, and it made me feel “normal."

During this period of time, all I really did was sleep, eat, binge-watch "Scandal" (fair to say it’s become an unhealthy addiction as I may or may not have finished over a hundred episodes in two weeks). Basically, I’ve become the ultimate couch potato I dreamt of becoming during finals week.

It felt good for a few days, maybe even a week, but then it just dragged.

I stopped writing articles, browsing for summer internships, and thinking about my choice of major. Many times, I couldn’t see a future where I wasn’t hopping from one appointment to another, chemotherapy every three weeks, and twice a week blood draws. This also doesn’t include regular PET/CT scans to check progress.

To me, this felt like the new normal, and I adjusted my life to fit around it. My daily medications became a part of my morning routine. Chemotherapy sessions meant I could make up for lost sleep. Appointments were my break from doing anything else.

As unhappy as it may seem, I managed to find my own light even in the darkest of tunnels.

I’ve accepted my diagnosis completely — so much that a future without it seemed scary and stressful. Eventually, I would have to go back to becoming completely independent, in all aspects of my life.

Recovering from chemotherapy takes a few months to a year or maybe even two, but to most people, once I finished treatment, so do my legitimate excuses for submitting late work, missing class, or being unable to deliver my obligations on time.

Of course, it would be the happiest moment of my life being told that I was done with chemotherapy and that for the time being, I am cancer-free. Cancer is a chronic illness, seeing that you aren’t “cured” until 10 or even 15 years have passed and you have not experienced a relapse. I will never be able to donate blood or become an organ donor for that fact, especially seeing that I have blood cancer.

However, that moment sometimes seems so far-fetched of a dream, that I try to live with what I’m facing as a part of everyday life, or at least, a part of my everyday life.

Not anymore.

That moment seemed to be a far-fetched dream, but not anymore. On the 14th of December, I was given the news I was in remission, and for cancer patients, this was a massive step closer to being cured.

At the time, I didn’t really understand what it meant, even with doing my own research, so it didn’t mean so much except that chemo was working, which I feel grateful for.

Yesterday, in my pre-chemo appointment at the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance, I learned that remission meant my cancer wasn’t active anymore. The cells were not multiplying at abnormal rates, and while signs of the disease still remain and the tumor still prevails, the chemotherapy that I was going through now was going to erase all or most traces of cancer, and to prevent it from relapsing.

I also have only two to three cycles of chemotherapy left, which finally made me feel that a life without cancer is possible and so close — I could already see it. As for writing, many of my friends and acquaintances have messaged me recently expressing how they missed and enjoyed my weekly articles. I missed them too.

For a period of time, I let go of something that gave me a platform to express myself and put into words and sentences and helped me understand what I was going through and drove me to want more and to utilize my potential for a bright future.

I write this not only for myself or for people going through similar situations, but for every person who feels as if their life is a “drag” of stressful life obligations, high-almost-impossible expectations, and even just going through difficult times whether it was physically, mentally, or emotionally.

It is hard to bounce back, but finding that silver lining is what keeps me going, and there’s always a silver lining.

For me, cancer got me to write and express myself more, be more transparent and true to who I am, and further motivate myself to achieve great things. We all go through times like this, but we only come out stronger and more ready to take on the world.

I was burnt out, but now, I ignite more powerful than ever, and so should you, because nothing feels more rewarding than working hard and reaching your goals one by one, day by day, and letting the successes roll in.