We’ve somehow determined, as a generation, that dating is just not worth it anymore.
Trust, loyalty, selflessness, and determination are things that seemed important back in the days of dating, now all replaced with hook-ups.
On a daily basis, we are bombarded with messages from the media that encourage us to remain single, don’t fall in love, hooking-up/one night stands, friends with benefits, etc.
Apparently all of these things equate to “finding yourself.” Bottom line is that dating has lost its appeal.
And why wouldn’t we be skeptical of dating, or even marriage for that matter, when divorce rates are currently at an all-time high and infidelity so glorified in television and memes on social media.
No wonder the millennial generation (as well as Generation Y) has lost faith in love and healthy relationships. We can blame movies, music, and social media but ultimately it’s up to us to redefine these things for ourselves.
With the emergence of communication through social media, we’ve simply stopped talking to each other.
Social networking sites, like twitter and Instagram, are now playing a prominent role when it comes to forming and navigating romantic relationships.
Verbal communication—actually speaking face-to-face, eye contact, body language—is literally nearly extinct.
According to a 2012 Pew Research Poll, 63% of individuals exchange texts with their friends every day and only 35% engage in face to face conversations with those same people.
Apparently the thought of asking a girl or boy out on a date via text is easier and safe. Maybe the rejection feels less harsh on the screen than in person.
Nowadays people turn to text messages, and sliding in the dm’s from time to time, rather than direct conversation, and interactions.
We barely speak on the phone (unless we’re arguing) all the while knowing how words are so easily misconstrued through text messaging. Still, having an argument through text is now the norm, and it’s breaking us down.
It comes down to us being caught up in the “hook-up” culture—which is basically anything from kissing to sex.
About 15% of students hook-up more than twice a year. An Institute for Sex Research in 1967 found that 68% of college men and 44% of college women reported having engaged in premarital sex.
However, most college students actually look for a committed relationship. An American Psychological Association study in February 2013 found that 63% of college men and 85% of college women would prefer traditional relationship to uncommitted sex.
We’ve definitely lost the art of old fashioned dates, like the night out to the movies, and/or dinner.
However cliché those things may be. (Let’s be honest, our generation needs to get a bit more creative with dates, too.) But the problem is not that, we’ve simply lost our enthusiasm and understanding of what dating means.
Of course now with dating apps and sites like Tinder, eHarmony, ChristianMingle, BlackPeopleMeet.com. etc., the process of actually meeting someone is right at our finger tips.
So are we even leaving our homes (or dorms) to go out and meet people that we can potentially form a connection with?
Not to discredit online dating sites because a lot of people have been able to find their spouses through these sites.
According to a Pew Research Center study on online dating & relationships, about 66% of people who’ve used an online dating site or app have gone on a date with someone they met through the site, and 23% say they have met their spouse or have had a long term relationship through these sites.
However, the problem with social media or dating sites/apps is that the details we’d only be able to know about someone by getting to know him or her—in a physical, mental and emotional sense—are now made public at all times.
Taking short cuts does not seem to be working, especially when it comes to the dating process (yes, it IS a process.)
Just like everything else in life, real dates require effort. Dating presents an opportunity for people to determine whether or not they’re with the right (or wrong) person.
By hiding behind the screen, we are essentially denying ourselves the full experience.
In this day and age, everyone seems to be ready to lock, load and move on to the next (I hope that analogy was obvious.) This process is actually hurting people, not helping.
Don’t get me wrong, if you’re looking for a casual sex connection, make sure your partner is on the same page at all times. If not, keep it in your pants, until you know the other person’s true intentions. This goes for men and women!
Although I do believe that there are no absolute rules to dating; timelines to the first kiss, sex, or meeting friends and family, I do believe in actually dating.
All the other stuff comes with time, chemistry, consent, and mutual respect/understanding between both individuals.
Be honest with your intentions, and stop playing around with people’s emotions (Golden rule?) Go out and date. Enjoy yourselves and make sure to always stay safe in the process.
