In the year 2016, most of us are aware that sex and gender are not identical. While sex includes chromosomes, hormones, and genitalia, gender is a construct enforced since the day of a person's birth.
It starts as early as the first sonogram in which the genitalia is observable. Couples proudly throw "gender reveal" parties and announce their baby's gender on Facebook. The thing is, the only identifiable trait about the child at that stage are their genitals, not how they will come to express themselves in the world around them as they mature. The limiting male-female binary forces children to act in ways society deems acceptable. For the purposes of this article, "girl" will mean assigned as female at birth (AFAB), and "boy" will mean assigned as male at birth (AMAB).
It starts with a girl's first baby doll. This is typically accompanied by a stroller, baby clothes, and bottles. The people who gave her the doll will show her how to feed it, dress it, and rock it. We begin showing girls what their purpose is as soon as we can.
Female childhood also includes various shades of pink, Barbie dolls with unattainable proportions, toys meant to imitate our mother's makeup, and an affinity for princesses. It is all fine and dandy for young girls to engage in activities designed for her demographic, but not because she is expected or shamed into doing it.
It begins with the first time a girl is told to close her legs when she's wearing a dress or skirt, but it is not truly because it's "un-ladylike," but out of the fear of creepy old men sexualizing young girls. Why enforce that? Why not focus on the old man who thinks a child's underwear is somehow sensual? The blame is placed on the female body from the get-go.
Around middle school, when girls change in front of each other in the locker room, they will begin to notice hair missing from others' legs, or the new underwire their friend is donning. It is the first descent into womanhood: throwing away the training bra and taking a sharp razor to the natural body hair that comes with our existence for no other reason than to resemble children once again. If a young girl doesn't start shaving or wearing a bra, she's ridiculed by boys and girls alike. When a boy's armpit hair comes in, though, he is celebrated.
Girls start to dabble in makeup as well. Many of us cake on layers of blue eye shadow and bright pink blush. This tends to be humorous to adults, although the young girl is just trying to be "grown up."
As they age, girls will face countless conversations with loved ones about the possibilities of assault, acting and dressing "like a lady," carrying mace, and going out with friends strictly in groups.
Gender is forced onto people throughout their whole lives. Women have a more rigid set of guidelines to follow and adhere to or they are rejected and not seen as woman. But how valid is womanhood when it's based on performance?
That's all gender is at the end of the day: a series of actions we believe we must follow. The reality is though, people are still whatever they feel they are. A girl who has short hair and hairy armpits is still a girl. A boy who wears makeup and paints his nails is still a boy. A genderqueer person who dresses in an androgynous fashion and adapts certain traits from other genders is still genderqueer. As long as gender is a construct, people can move within it, despite society's constraints.
