Why I Can't Hold My Girlfriend's Hand in Public
Swoon

Why I Can't Hold My Girlfriend's Hand in Public

It shouldn't be an issue, but it is...

125
Why I Can't Hold My Girlfriend's Hand in Public
Candace Jones

A lot of people say we don’t need gay pride, but one reason why we do is so that gay people aren’t ashamed or embarrassed to show affection in public. People are ok with gay couples until we “flaunt it” or “rub it in their faces”-- then it becomes awkward and not normal.

I get asked the question, "Are you ashamed of your significant other?" NO. The judgement of strangers' eyes scanning me as I hold her hand is what I'm scared of. The disappointing look that appears on her face is something I shouldn't have to see because I can't hold her hand or give her a peck on the cheek. Nobody's physically making me stop, I just don't---or can't.

Now, I understand that a lot of people are Anti-Public Displays of Affection [PDAs] for any couple...including myself in this group. I don’t like seeing two people making out as they wait to cross the road, or having the need to touch or kiss constantly when they’re in a group or holding each others’ bums waiting in line for ice-cream.

What do I fear? My biggest fear is people commenting – doing a double-take, what people might think, and the chance of getting harassed. It's just easier not to. I wonder if I’ll stay that way forever, or whether I’ll be brave and just do it one day without hesitation. Sometimes you go to be affectionate in public and it doesn’t work, because you have to think it through – you have consciously decided upon the act and thus, the act is no longer natural.

We're seen as really close friends at first glance – until a touch has been made and we get that strange stare, and then we just stop. Of course, I shouldn’t care that I don’t get to announce my love for her to strangers at a busy crosswalk or coffee shop. I shouldn’t mind – we love each other and we know that – we show each other in our own space, alone. But I do. It’s about us and the public, unfortunately. Gay PDA is an issue.

There’s something not right there.

I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. Maybe one day I can have the courage to show her off to the world without that hesitation.

Report this Content
Swoon

119 People Reveal How The Pandemic Has Affected Their Love Lives, And Honestly... Relatable

"I haven't been able to get out of the 'talking phase' with anyone."

The reality is, there's no part of life the pandemic hasn't affected. Whether it's your work life, your home life, your social life, or your love life, coronavirus (COVID-19) is wreaking havoc on just about everything — not to mention people's health.

When it comes to romance, in particular, people are all handling things differently and there's no "right way" of making it through, regardless of your relationship status (single, taken, married, divorced, you name it). So, some of Swoon's creators sought out to hear from various individuals on how exactly their love lives have been affected since quarantine began.

Keep Reading... Show less

- Though as a little girl, I had the silkiest, softest hair that would get compliments everywhere I went, since I turned about thirteen I've since had coarse, dry hair no amount of deep conditioning masks or sulfate-free shampoo could fix.

- I started using the Raincry's Condition Boar Bristle Brush several months ago, and while I noticed that my hair had been softer, silkier, and shinier than it had ever been, I didn't make the connection because I never thought a simple hairbrush could make any difference in my hair texture.

- I will be the first to admit that I thought it was ridiculous to spend nearly a hundred dollars on a hairbrush, but this one eliminates the need for me to use any heat tools or styling products on it.

- I put some oil or a serum in my hair when it's wet, brush my hair with the boar bristle brush once it's dry, and end up with the lowest maintenance, shiniest hair I've had since I was 8 years old.

@raincrybeauty

Keep Reading... Show less
YouTube

Bingeing a romantic comedy is always a good idea, and during this pandemic, these movies bring us one of the only elements of romance we can get. Through all the break-ups, obstacles, and struggles in our love lives, romantic comedies have always been there to make us laugh and keep us company while we cry.

While we love these movies for the beyond gorgeous male love interests, the female protagonists are still the ones we always remember. Although rom-coms are far from reality, it is always fun to imagine what our life would be like if a cinematic studio was behind our love life. So what does your favorite romantic comedies say about your dream guy?

Keep Reading... Show less

Whether you're in an unhealthy relationship currently, you know someone who is, or you just want to have these numbers saved just in case it could one day save someone's life (if not your own), this article is for you. Here are three numbers to save in your contacts ASAP so you can always be safe, both physically and mentally, in every relationship.

Keep Reading... Show less

As any poor college student, a little kick of caffeine for less than a dollar has always sounded great to me. So, naturally, AriZona Iced Tea has been a go-to for as long as I can remember.

Keep Reading... Show less

The NBA is back, and for basketball fans, like myself, it has been the BEST news we have heard since COVID-19 shutdown play indefinitely. I mean, come on, we need to see if James Harden can once again perform so well he has back-to-back 50 point games, Kawhi can lead another team to the championship title, and whether Giannis is going to be back-to-back MVP... among like 500 other things running through our heads!

In the midst of all of the amazing statistics and records that these players are breaking, though, we also just love the NBA because well, there are some pretty good looking guys out there. Here are the 19 hottest NBA players (in no particular order) you would totally let slam dunk on you now that the NBA has returned.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Everything You Need To Know About Macronutrients, Because A Diet Should Be More Than Calories

Pay attention to what you're eating, not just how much you're eating.

Plenty of people are familiar with the "calories in, calories out" (CICO) method of dieting which can be used for losing, gaining, or maintaining weight. This method relies on calculating a person's total daily energy expenditure (TDEE) to ensure that they are not overeating or undereating to achieve their desired weight. TDEE considers a person's height, weight, age, gender, and level of activity to determine what their caloric intake should be — some calculators can factor in body fat percentage as well. When I used a TDEE calculator online, it said that my TDEE would be 1,990 calories if I was trying to maintain my weight, but are all calories created equal? I'd argue that they're not.

It might seem obvious to some of you that 1,990 calories of macaroni and cheese are not healthy at all compared to 1,990 calories of varied foods (fruit, veggies, meat, bread, etc.).

Keep Reading... Show less
Swoon

Just Because You're Asked To Be In A Wedding, Doesn't Always Mean You Should Say Yes

If you can't invest time, money, and YOURSELF, maybe say no to the offer for the bride's sake!

Being in a wedding is a really big commitment. I personally think if you've never been in one before, you don't understand the time, money, and energy that goes into being a part of it.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

Dear Closeted Latina,

You were never alone.

Remember how the Latin world got rocked when Ricky Martin came out?

Keep Reading... Show less

If you're anything like me, you're probably anxious about going back to college. The uncertainty of nearly everything is stressful and makes it difficult to prepare for going back to campus. Take it one step at a time and remain calm! If nothing else, take a look at this list of six essentials for living on campus during the COVID-19 pandemic! You got this!

Keep Reading... Show less

First, let's talk about some reasons people cheat in relationships in the first place:

1. They have low self-esteem.

Are you feeling like you are not good enough? Do you feel like you are not attractive enough? Feeling as if you are not worth the love can lead to self-sabotage.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments