"There's always plenty of fish in the sea." my friends say, patting my arm reassuringly. I know they're trying to comfort me and make me feel better about my bad luck with men, but there's something way deeper at work than just a bad dating streak.
Let's face it: the straights have it all. They have a huge dating pool and no shortage of straight people to couple up with and procreate. While us gays struggle to even find a fellow queer to even talk to. The gay dating pool is like a landlocked pond in the middle of some remote forest. All the fish in this pond already know each other and have absolutely no interest in each other whatsoever.
That, my friends, is what it is like to date while gay.
Hey, I'm not knocking being gay: I absolutely love being gay and wouldn't trade it for anything in the entire world. I'm just saying that it absolutely sucks to be gay while trying to find a hot date that'll turn into a long-term relationship. We scourer dating apps like Grindr and Tinder in the hopes of finding our prince charming, but end up finding nothing but frogs or dead ends. We watch our straight friends find love with wonderful partners who cherish them, while we sit on the sidelines, bitter.
There are many factors contributing to this dating conundrum in the gay community. One of the biggest problems is that many gay men are still closeted. Sure, it's 2018 but that doesn't mean everyone is living a tolerant lifestyle. There are still many families that create a toxic environment for their queer children by preaching homophobia to them. This, of course, makes it difficult for them to be emotionally vulnerable to anyone else, including other gay men. It isn't their fault that they're this way, it's the fault of an intolerant society that still demonizes homosexuality and doesn't allow for any positive queer representation within the media (which, thankfully is changing).
There's also rampant racism and body shaming within the gay community, making it an unwelcoming place for queer people of color and heavy set men. Grindr profiles are notorious for having nothing but a chiseled torso and a bio stating: "No Asians, no Blacks, and no fatties." We're already a minority within the world, why should we further alienate people within our own community? It just doesn't make sense.
At the end of the day, dating for queer folk aren't going to get any easier. We're still going to be creating roadblocks within our community, making it even more difficult for us to respect each and every individual that makes up our wonderful community. I still wholeheartedly believe in love and finding that special person that'll bring such a bright life to my life. I'm just tired of being alone, tired of being taken for granted, and tired of having to give everything to a man who doesn't appreciate the emotional gifts I give him.
One day, my prince will come, but one day it'll be too late.
