If you're looking for a way to be happier, saying yes to everything isn't going to help you much. It's important to experience new things in life, but being comfortable and healthier is much more important. Never let anyone dictate your life or the choices you make.
Going into college I was excited, but also extremely anxious about fitting in and having the "best" college experience. Everyday the university planned different events and encouraged students to join. Additionally, people were jumping out of their comfort zones to invite new kids to anything and everything in order to make new friends. At first, I said yes anytime someone asked me to tag alone. Soon enough, I found myself exhausted and yearning for some alone time. While not everyone sees alone time as an everyday necessity, it is very important to our mental health and wellbeing. However, I tried to push forward for as long as I could because I was afraid other people were having more fun than I was. Obviously this notion was a ridiculous excuse for me over doing it. I finally came to the realization that we all adjust in different ways and I should listen to my body.
Throughout life, people will ALWAYS put you down or hype something else up to get you to do something, yet this leads to too high expectations and uncomfortable situations. Starting at a young age, we develop and perfect the image of what our life will look like, piece by piece. However, when the moments actually come, they often don't live up to our high standards and perfect expectations. This leaves us feeling disappointed, unfulfilled, and potentially unwilling to try something new. The solution is two-parted, but simple.
First, try to live in the moment. By going into a new experience unprepared, we can learn a lot about ourselves and how we respond to things. Furthermore, we are less likely to feel greatly disappointed if we don't know what to expect. I know it's easier said than done, but sometimes we have to stop, take a deep breath, and go in blind.
Secondly, disregard the idea that you have to do something just because other people are doing it. If something isn't appealing to you, then you shouldn't feel any pressure to participate. Everyone has their own interests, hobbies, and pace of progressing through life. I'm not saying to stay in your comfort zone, but don't feel like you have to do anything- this is your own life, so do whatever the hell you want with it.
So, you've decided to opt out, but now you have to actually say no. Whether you don't feel comfortable or you're being peer pressured, the tips below can make saying no a little easier.
Have a strong moral code
Everyone has a set of morals that they live by, no matter what they are. It's important to be strong in your own morals and not let anyone pressure you to compromise them.
Set boundaries
Similar to developing a moral code, making clear boundaries for yourself allows you to have fun without doing something you'll regret later. However, sometimes people will ask you to do something that is morally okay, yet still isn't something you want/ feel comfortable to do. If firm boundaries are in place, you can let whoever you're with know them.
Pick your friends wisely
Not only is it important to choose friends that have similar morals to your own, it's also important for them to respect you and your decisions. Having supportive friends relieves any protentional consequences of saving no like continuous peer pressure.
At the end of the day, the most important thing is your mental health and happiness. That being said, don't be afraid to take risks, make mistakes, and say no when you feel like it. After you say no, the world will continue to move forward and you can shift your focus on something that genuinely sounds appealing to you. No matter the situation, you have the strength to say how you feel, believe in your strength.
