Dear Future Husband,
I don’t want to be what you put first in your life. I don’t want to be your first love. What I mean is I don’t want you to ever love me more than you love Jesus Christ. I don’t want to be the center of your life. I want our relationship to be sprouted from the love we have both come to know separately for Him. I will love you and cherish you. You will be my best friend and my favorite dance partner but you will not be first in my life or in my marriage and I hope you can say the same about me.
Don’t get me wrong. I will expect a lot out of both you and myself in this relationship. I expect 100% effort on both sides. I expect opened doors and forgiveness received from the two of us. I expect us to treat each other in reflection of the Love that we have already received undeservingly. I expect you to treat me beautifully and in the ways of our Father but please don’t put me first. Please don’t put me first because I can’t fill your void now or ever. I am not a God. I love Him but I am far from being Him, now and always. I can’t produce miracles. I can’t fill your heart because I am a human and God is God. I think we are able to love to the greatest of our ability when we love others not from our own heart, but from His. I can laugh with you. I can cry with you. I can show you grace and kindness yet it will only produce meaningful actions when those actions come from a meaningful God. I want you to know that I am not going to put you first and hope you do the same.
My greatest goal in life has nothing to do with being married. My greatest goal in life is not to meet you but, through God’s beautiful and detailed planning, it must have happened if you are reading this. My greatest goal in life is to follow Jesus and be near to Him. I hope it is yours as well. I do not want to be your first priority. I want you to run to Jesus for understanding, not me. I want you to follow Jesus for comfort, not me. I want to show you Jesus through my words and actions but I at best, will only be able to show you the slightest glimpse of who He is in total. I want you to have seen the impossible created from God before I tell you my name. I want you to realize how incredibly loved you are before I simply love you when compared to Him. I want to realize who I am before I am searching from who I am supposed to be with. I want to become more familiar with His callings before I first see you. I do not want our relationship to be centered on our lust but our Love; our love for Him, His love for us, leading us to the love of one another.
I hope that we work as a team in furthering God’s kingdom. I hope that we see the potential in each other and work constantly on bring that potential out. I hope that we push each other in the areas where we are strong and encourage each other in the areas that we struggle. I hope that we base our love off the never ending love of God and not on our own temporary things. I hope that we constantly work towards knowing the fullness of the Gospel.
And I hope that on the day we stand before the King of Kings, completely free of our worldly hindrances, we look at each other in the fullness of our love and God’s and we see the other’s held back potential that we’d been dying to bring forth finally released and thriving in us.
On that day we will be completely fulfilled.
Love me more than anyone, but love Jesus incomparably.
