I wrote several articles on anxiety, and different mental health disorders during my time here at Odyssey. Some were personal, but some were just informative for my readers. Recently, I had a personal episode that I am going to share with you. I am not sharing for attention or pity, but instead to show everyone how difficult normal everyday things can be when you have anxiety like millions of people.
Let me start off by saying, I have had anxiety attacks before. They are not a fun experience, but this past week I experienced a panic attack at a whole new level. I was having a normal day. If you're from central Pennsylvania, you'll know about our beloved Sheetz. Sheetz is basically a convenience store and gas station, but they also do made-to-order foods so it's pretty cool.
Anyways, I was at Sheetz when all of a sudden nausea hit me like a ton of bricks. I ran back to the restroom and just thought "Please let me be alright. Don't let me be sick in this stall". As I was sitting there everything went downhill, and it went downhill fast. My stomach started to hurt, and I started to sweat. Pretty soon my chest hurt and my heart felt it was going to come out of my chest. I called my mom and told her I was going to pass out because I couldn't see straight or stand. I am away at school, so my mom couldn't do much, but talk me through it. Then, as if things couldn't have gotten any worse my fingers and legs started tingling and I could not catch my breath. I couldn't shake the feeling of needing to throw up.
By this time, I was extremely concerned, and could not think straight. I thought "What do I do? Who can I call? What if I pass out?" Thankfully, I had a friend there who was extremely helpful. I sat on the floor of Sheetz bathroom with my head in my knees for what felt like forever. I was ready to call 911 because I felt like I was having a heart attack. Now I can see how people panic and assume they are in cardiac arrest because it was the worst I've felt in my entire life.
Once I regained a little energy, I went out to my friend's car. He had to help me walk because I could not stand up by myself. My mom called to check in and I told her everything and she told me I had a full-blown panic attack. Can you just think about that? All I did was go to Sheetz, but something in my mind sent me into this attack that made me so weak? The worst part is not knowing what caused it.
All I could think about was getting out of that place, but movement was so hard. How can I not be afraid of going anywhere and this happening to me again? Anxiety is scary because it controls your life even when you think you have a handle on it. Panic attacks happen to people daily. Sometimes they're minor and then sometimes they're overwhelming. This was my first full blown attack. Mental health is just so important and people have such a hard time understanding it, but unless it's personally happening to you, you just can't.
My advice is if it happens to you, try to breathe the best you can and have a support system to talk you through it; even if you can't talk, knowing that someone is there will make a difference.
