My Dearest Fellow Fat Friend,
Hear me out, the world is changing. The Body Positive movement has made strides towards acceptance of full-figured women. Plus sized models strut down runways and grace the cover of "Sports Illustrated" in all their curvaceous glory.
Yet, we still know that Body Shaming is as prevalent and damaging as it has ever been. There is a difference between body shapes that make a hierarchy out of the number of back rolls and thigh dimples. Big boobs, wide hips, shapely butt and smooth, rollings curves are seen as alluring whereas having a stomach or any fat deposits other than the aforementioned listing is seen as disgusting and unattractive.
Now, having been the “fat friend” my entire life, society has tried to teach me somethings about falling in the bottom rungs of the Fat Social Ladder. Firstly, when you are the "Fat Friend" in a group of skinny girls your role is limited.
Society tells me that since I’m fat I have to be the comic relief. Since I can't be inherently sexy, funny will have to do. Almost like because I'm a larger lady I'm forced to develop an actual personality I will never be the desirable one, the one who is approachable.
Society tells me that for someone to find me attractive they must have a fetish. "Chubby Chasers" (What a stupid name...what are they chasing? It's not like we run.) are my only option for love. No one will buy me drinks at the bar or ask my friends if I’m single.
Society tells me that I will never find the person of my dreams unless I lose weight and compact myself into the ideal of what a woman should look like. Long story short, I won’t ever be happy unless I’m skinny.
This, my dear friend, is bullshit.
Like I said, I have been fat all my life and you know what? I’m okay with it. My body is a reflection of me and me only. Fat isn’t a dirty word, it’s a simple three lettered adjective that is as insignificant as the people who hurl it around like a blunt weapon. Fickle and superficial views should roll off your skin.
You are stronger than the snide digs and cruel words.
J.K. Rowling said, “I mean, is ‘fat’ really the worst thing a human being can be? Is ‘fat’ worse than ‘vindictive’, ‘jealous’, ‘shallow’, ‘vain’, ‘boring’ or ‘cruel’? Not to me.” One more time for the people in the back! There is so many things that are worse than being called, ‘fat’. Honestly? I would take being fat over being cruel or shallow any day.
Never let anyone tell you that you matter less, that you are worth less because of the numbers on a scale. And if they try?
You are just as beautiful as everyone else. Just because you don't fit into a mold or your best friend's skinny jeans does not mean that you are going to die alone surrounded by 20 cats and empty Snickers wrappers (It's a legitimate nightmare, okay. Don't judge me).
You gotta love yourself first and foremost. Just the way you are.
With Love,
A Fellow Fat Friend
