"When two people get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they 'don't understand' one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to." -Helen Rowland
I am proud to say that I come from divorced parents ... It wasn't always that easy. My parents were young when they got married, and the main reason they did was because I came along. I remember being in elementary school and some kid told me, "Your dad isn't really your dad since your parents weren't married when you were born." At this point I didn't understand where babies came from, so I believed that. I went home and cried to my mom about not having a dad. My parents split when I was 9 years old. I was hurt, angry and completely heartbroken. Within the past few years, I've realized how most people view divorce ... especially if they've never experienced one or been around someone who did. It's impacted dating, conversations and friendships in my life. Here are a few things that I've encountered:
1. "You're broken."
No, I'm not. Neither is my family. Yes, my parents split up ... but with that I gained even more loving people in my life. I have two wonderful step parents that accept me as their own, and along with my step parents I also gained their families as well.
2. "You have daddy issues."
No, I don't. I haven't always had the best relationship with my father, but it's a work in progress. My dad was a teenager when I was born. He was learning about adulthood along with learning how to be a parent. Which in my opinion is pretty tough, and more than most teenagers could handle.
3. "You have trust issues."
Yes, that part is true. But that has nothing to do with my parents. That something that I've personally gained over the years through past relationships.
4. "You're disconnected."
No, I'm cautious. That's one of the best things I learned from my parents' divorce. I love deeper than most, but that love is hard to gain. My standards are higher. I would never stay in an unhappy relationship, nor would I encourage anyone else to do so. But I, like most people, don't want to consider divorce as an option when I get married. Which is why I am so cautious about relationships in general.
So ... as you see, I disagree with the stereotypes that kids with divorced parents are labeled with. My parents did the best they could, but sometimes ... two people just aren't meant to be together. They are both much happier now, as am I. As for my step parents — thank y'all for treating me as your own. Thank y'all for signing up for a daughter that isn't yours. Thank you, Adam, for making Momma happy, for Sawyer and for always being there for me. Thank you, Jenifer, for making daddy happy, for Emory, for giving me advice and for always being a listening ear. I am so grateful for you two.
My family isn't broken; it's larger than ever. I'm blessed.
