"I've known this girl since BGR and we've always been so close. I want to tell her how I feel and move closer to her but I'm afraid we won't be as good of friends as a result of things aren't mutual."
I bet everyone knows someone who has been in a similar situation as this one, or may have been there themselves. It's become common knowledge in understanding the infuriating angst building up when deciding to make that advance or to hold back the intense feelings of "I like you. I like you. I like you". Or there's always the alternative, "Oh my gosh your hair smells so nice when you walk, is that Garnier Fructis?" Whatever possible creepy sentiment about your crush may be swirling around your head, it's universally known that the friend zone sucks.
Well, what should we do about it? We have to look for the signs. Certain aspects of body language, verbal responses, and that generalized vibe or inclination you get in certain social scenarios can dictate whether to go in for the kill or continue stalking (using this word loosely) the prey.
Here are a list of things to look for when deciding to make or restrict an advance:
1. Eye contact: See if they are making an effort to look at you when you're talking. Yes, this may seem almost too simple. But if they are seriously interested in gaining your attention and are genuinely fascinated with what you have to say, they will look at you. In opposition, beware of behavior like playing Trivia Crack every five seconds, scrolling through tweets or vines, to only occasionally tuning in and out on your critically important rant on the topic of the day. If they are interested what you have to say, they will look, act, and participate in the conversation accordingly.
2. Stature: How are they sitting or standing? Are they standing facing the TV or someone/something else more important? Are they staring at their phone waiting for the text of someone else? Commenting on how huge that chicks booty is in her Insta? Dope. If they are doing things that seem to fall into this genre, don't waste your time. Rather, if they are fascinated by you a good amount they will sit up when you are having a conversation. They will make an effort to bring you into conversations with their friends as well and not just leave you to fend for yourself at a party or social setting. They should want you there, and they should make an effort to show that in one way or another. The signs could be minuscule, but like an Easter egg hunt, the colorful plastic eggs of hope are worth looking for.
3. Conversations: What do they bring up to talk about? If they are eager to know about you, your well being, your school work, most recent horror stories, there's a good chance they will be more accepting towards your romantic advances. If they talk about themselves a lot, aren't enticed by stories you think they would enjoy, constantly bring up other people they find sexually alluring, I would say that's probably a no-go.
Positives: You laugh a lot together, it's constantly a good ratio of light hearted goofing around, and serious talks when you need someone trustworthy. You make plans frequently, and if you haven't seen them in 24-48 hours, you can tell there's a void. He/she makes time for you and tries to talk to you a good amount. If the environment that's created when you two are together is one filled with fun, laughter, and good humor, it's probably a good sign that they could potentially feel more for you as well.
Negatives: You hang out less than you would prefer, they don't text you often, or they text you but the conversations are lacking in flow and logical progression, they always want to bring other friends when you guys hang out, they pay more attention to other people and other things than you. If they really just don't seem to act like you take an important role in their life enough to make an active effort, if pass. There's no point in wasting your time on someone who won't give you the time of day. Getting over someone may seem like a huge, unwanted, emotional process (which it is). But in the long run, it's way better to have that amazing friend next to you years later, rather than them run for the hills when you entire the same room from 30 yards away.
