Us millennials are currently numb to the fact that most flings nowadays start off with a hookup or a night in bed. In order for a relationship to take flight, we have to take him home first. We have to see how they are in bed or how they grind on you at a party.
From there, that's when we start conversing.
That's finally when we start getting to know each other. It's not until they've fully finished, that they consider you as a girl that's worth more than just a booty call.
Back in the day, guys would "pin" you, or decide to "go steady". Now, you're lucky if they ask for your snap or your digits.
What happened to first dates? What happened to first kisses that were way too hyped up but amazing when it happened? What happened to getting to know each other before you were down each other's pants?
Like yes, I probably sound like your mother preaching about safe sex, or even worse, abstinence. But why must we worry about DTR (defining the relationship) when it's clear you guys have been hooking up for months now?
Why must we worry about what the next step is when you've probably seen every angle of him naked? Why must we be forced to stick to the "exclusivity" label when it's clear you're ready to commit and cuff him already?
An even better question is, what even is the difference between exclusivity and being in a relationship in current hookup culture? What does it mean when the guy only sticks to exclusivity? Is the guy even worth it?
To cuff or not to cuff? Is this f*ckboy worth the "huge" loss of all other f*ckboys?
Here are 10 signs that you're ready to pin him down and finally call him your boyfriend.
1. He actually communicates with you outside of the bedroom.
If he's genuinely wanting to hear about your day, your calc exam that you studied all night for, or your night out with the girls, that means he genuinely cares. Shocker! A guy who cares? He's such a keeper! Bottom line if the guy is texting you throughout the day (and not just at night) to hear about how you're doing, he thinks about you outside of the bedroom and throughout his daily routines. Pat yourself on the back, he's thinking about you.
2. He remembers things.
This can include: if he remembers where your sister lives now that she's out of college, if he asks about how your brother's job interview went, if he remembers what your parents do for a living (this list can obviously go on and on).
Now don't me wrong, he's not all of a sudden your prince charming if he happens to remember all of this, but it's certainly not a coincidence. He clearly listens to you rant about your family facts. It's even better if he asks questions and wants to know more about your life.
3. He compliments you on your personality, not just your appearance.
It's pretty simple. If you're nothing but a girl with a gorgeous smile and great body, he's seeing only your exterior. As much as we'd like these compliments, if you're looking to go the next step with this guy, you want him to love your personality.
Does he motivate you? Does he make you feel intelligent? Does he make you feel like you could chase your dreams if you really tried? If so, he likes your brains too, not just your physique.
4. You come first in bed.
Nothing much to be said here. A guy who cares about your pleasure means this isn't just for his enjoyment. A guy who's only seeing you from your backside (get it?) and making you hit your head against his headboard is a guy to steer clear from if you're willing to take the next step.
5. He makes sacrifices for your sleepovers.
If he really likes you, he's going to want to see you, a lot. With that being said, some sacrifices may have to be made for him. Every once in a while, he may sacrifice a guys night to be with you instead.
If it's 10 degrees out and it takes a solid 10-minute walk to your place, he'll make that sacrifice and walk through the cold. He's either really horny or he actually just wants your company. Let's hope for both.
6. He wants to see you outside of the bedroom...with clothes on...when you're not shitfaced.
If he's scheduling study dates, if he wants to get food and invites you to come with, hold him dearly. He wants to spend time with you outside of your hookups. He genuinely likes your company and thinks you're fun to hang out with. Go you.
7. He prefers you when you both are sober.
Yes, sober sex is better for a guy's enjoyment. But if he prefers you when you're sober too? That means he doesn't just wanna see you when you're out at a party. Weeknights along with some Netflix and chill is where his head is at.
8. He introduces you to his friends.
This means a lot. And no, I don't mean this when he accidentally introduces you to his boys at a frat party when he's shitfaced. I mean when he actually looks you in the eye and tells you he wants you to meet his friends.
This is a good sign. He's impressed by you and wants to show you off. If you're hanging out with his boys too, sitting back and enjoying a joint, that's even better. This means he knows that you're chill with his group of people. Congrats, you're one of the boys.
9. He keeps in contact over break.If he's still asking how you are over break, this means he isn't backsliding and hooking up with his high school sweetheart of an ex. If he's asking about how dreadful your drunk uncle is at your Thanksgiving dinner, he obviously misses you and wants to know how you're doing.
10. He does favors for you.
If you're drunk AF and he's willing to drive 10 minutes out of his way to get you some toast and water, he's not only a keeper, but he's your literal slave. Congrats on fully whipping him. You want a guy that's willing to do whatever it takes to make you happy. If he's doing just that, hold him tight.
If after all of these things, he's doing all of them? You have a potential boyfriend on your hands. Don't let your f*ckboy go. Hold him close and cuff him already.