Just recently, I was having a conversation with two of my friends about the different types of friendships we have gone through. I've known these two people since middle school, and ever since then we've been in and out of different friendships and talked about mutual former friends that we've known.
The three of us were amazed, and at the same time not so amazed, that people who we thought we would be friends with for life turned into strangers, yet we still remained friends to this day. And we thought about why that was, the reason became very clear to us.
Friendships are supposed to be relationships with people that we can turn to in any sort of situation, whether it be good or bad. We don't have to be talking every single day, but I know that if I needed someone to talk to, you as my friend will always be there as a listening ear even if we haven't talked for weeks. And I know that I would do the same because that's what friends are for.
Friendships aren't something that you have to exert so much energy in. Yes, there should be trying on both ends to reconnect from time to time, but the act of trying should not be done out of a feeling of obligation. Instead, you should try because you want to; because you miss them and you want to enjoy their company. And if the other person is as good as a friend as you know he/she is, then they would feel the exact same way.
Probably the most frustrating thing I'e experienced in a friendship is having someone not open up to you, especially when you consider that someone a really good friend. I'll admit that I'm not the most open person to talk to, but once you have my full trust then I'm pretty much an open book. I don't think it's unfair to think that your so- called good friend should be the same way. Trust is a two way street. I won't believe that you trust me if you don't communicate your frustrations or your problems to me after I've done it.
It's draining to try and squeeze out feelings out of someone who isn't willing to share, and especially frustrating after you've just vented for a good 20 minutes to them. It's draining to exert a lot of energy into a relationship that's one sided.
So my advice: don't drain yourself. Yes, it's hard to let go of a friendship that you've cherished for so long and it's hard to let go of someone who who completely trusted. But life is too short to waste energy on people that aren't willing to put time and energy into you. And there will always be someone in your life (I have five, thank God) that are always willing to stoop down with you at your lowest, and celebrate with you at your highest. Those are the friendships that are worth saving.
