We’ve all been there before - a friend asks for your opinion about something that horrifies you. Instead of telling her the truth, you whip out your best closed-mouth-smile & tell her it’s a great idea.
Because you don’t want to hurt her feelings.
Because you hate confrontation.
Because this, & that, & the other thing.
ARE YOU NUTS? You’re seriously going to let one of your BFFs leave the house mixing floral & leopard prints? Yeah, she might have gotten those fab boots on sale and cannot wait to wear them, but there is a time & a place for that boot. It ain’t tonight, boo.
You need to do two things.
1. Stop acting like such a freaking wimp.
2. Take a deep breath, and be honest with someone you care about.
It is your moral duty as a friend to break it to her, gently. Or, hilariously. Either approach could go over pretty well pending your word choice.
Cringe and say something along the lines of, “sweetie - I love you, but I that outfit does not do you justice”, or go straight RuPaul and say, “your body is fire, but not even Lady Gaga’s meat dress was more hideous than that excuse of an outfit”.
I do think that we’re all guilty of sugar coating every now and then. Sugar coating though, is quite different from smiles and lies. Yes, I said lies. That’s what you’re doing when you’re being dishonest with friends. Remember when you saw Brittani with an i’s boyfriend on Tinder and you didn’t tell her? What, you thought that was just “omitting” knowledge? If your baby cakes-honey pot-kissy kibbles was busy swiping right, wouldn’t you want know? Or would you rather continue living in an oblivious bubble and fall further in love with that skeeze? Snap out of it! You and Brittani with an i both deserve the truth! I hate to break it to you, but the truth is both of your boyfriends are cheating on you. Probably because you call them “baby cakes-honey pot-kissy kibbles”. Either way, I’m sorry. Let’s all cry together.
Now, let’s side step a bit and talk about how differently men and women give and receive criticism. One of my best friends is male (phew). Maybe work up to a male BFF’s reviews. It is not for the faint of heart. Start with asking your snotty, older brother what he thinks. Spoiler alert: over Christmas, my brother told me I smelled like pee. Did I want to die? Yes, but not because his comment hurt my feelings. It’s because I had NO idea. Have you ever walked into someone’s house that smells like grandparents or litter box and they have no idea? It was just like that. Except I was interacting with society and other humans smelling like pee. So, I’m sure we’re all on the same page about why I was mortified.
Shouldn’t we all have that, though and shouldn’t it extend WAY farther than outfits? Sure, it would be nice if someone told me I accidentally resemble a librarian in her 60’s, because nobody’s got time for that. A lady needs honest feedback in her life and who can you depend on for that honest feedback for, if not your friends?
Is my job making me suicidal? Would selling shell necklaces on an island make me happier? Can you see my mustache? You know, all of life’s important topics. Lord knows I can’t figure this stuff out on my own.
Life is hard enough. Please tell the truth since none of us have a clue if we’re doing this right. Just be gentle.
DISCLAIMER: Tact is a must here. Timing is also crucial. Under no circumstances should you ask your friend if she’s on an all carb diet 3 weeks after a breakup. Take her on a walk instead, you monster.
