In the past, people had lovers, whether it be one specific or multiple, and even in marriage people have been known to take others. In today's society however we simply have a friend with benefits. Someone who's company we enjoy but know they won't catch feelings. A person who we can use when we feel like it then toss aside when we are no longer bored.
The bad thing about this arrangement however, is when you realize you no longer care to toss them aside.
When you realize that you're not even on a friend level because you don't know the first thing about each other, but you want to. When you realize that just having them for sex is no longer what you want. The simple hookups turn into you constantly wanting them near, just to see them or hear them.
What's worse than you catching these feelings is knowing that they'll never be returned.
You know how he is, he doesn't do relationships. That was the most important thing about this arrangement it wasn't about feeling. Nothing but satisfaction was suppose to come out of it. He's the type of guy to shamelessly flirt with girls but care less for them, you're suppose to be the girl he can hang around and not expect anything from. That's how you were going in, you didn't expect anything from him but now you expect everything from him. That's whats hurting you, you expect him to change what you both signed up for and he can't do that.
He can't be the guy to take sappy photos with you in the snow and he can't be the guy actually watching Netflix and chilling with you.
That's just not who he is and he never will be and it's not his fault. You should have known yourself better, should have known your emotions because at the end of the day you're the one changing the terms. Every time you try to get to know him and he shoves you away every time you're left on read and have to be the one to message, it's because he knows himself. He knows how to not catch feelings, He's protecting himself and you should have done the same.
It hurts, and it's gonna keep hurting until you learn how to stop the pain. Until you realize that you're too good for that and deserve someone to give you what you want.