To the friends I have lost along the way,
Everyone always says that a friend "breakup" is so much worse than an actual breakup, and I have to agree with that. At one point in time, you were one of the most important people in my life, and now, you're kind of like a stranger. Some friendships end because of a hurtful action, some because of a disagreement, and some just because you're growing up and growing apart. No matter what the reason is, losing a friend always hurts, even though it may be one of the best things to ever happen to you. I've lost friends for several different reason, and each one leaves it's own special kind of hurt.
I want to start by saying thank you. No matter what the outcome was, your friendship taught me valuable lessons. Some of you taught me what to look for in future friends, and some of you taught me what to avoid; but either way, I still learned something. Thank you for making me stronger. Losing you was painful, for very different reasons, but each situation made me stronger in a different way. You were once the person I turned to when I was hurting, but I had to learn how to get through it without you, and I did. Thank you for the memories. Even though some ended with a sour memory, we wouldn't have been friends if there wasn't a thousand good ones before it. Thank you for being my friend when I needed someone. It may not have been all the time, but before things got rocky, you were always there for me, and I appreciate that.
Along with my thanks, I have some apologies. I'm sorry if I wasn't the friend that you feel you deserved. I'm sorry for any wrong that I did, whether I was aware of it or not. I'm sorry that things got in the way of our friendship. I'm sorry for not always being there. I'm sorry if I hurt you. I'm sorry if the ending of our friendship caused you pain. But I am not sorry for leaving behind friendships that caused me pain.
Some of you may have hurt me more than I ever thought possible, but that is not something I will dwell on. I will continue on with my hopes and dreams whether you are there to support me or not, and I hope you do the same. You are capable of so much, and even though we may no longer be friends, I still want you to be the best that you can be. I am still rooting for you, just not so publicly anymore.
I am still here. No matter the reason behind the ending of our friendship, I am still here. I may be hurt, but I am not cold. I still care, and I don't want to see you hurting, even if you may have hurt me. If you need someone, I'll be that someone. Please don't forget that and please don't take advantage of that. We may never be friends again, but I still care.
If you hurt me during our time as friends, just know that I forgive you. I may carry a scar around from what happened, but it's okay. We were made to be broken sometimes.
Good luck. You all have such big dreams and I hope you accomplish everything you ever wanted and more. I hope your life turns out to be everything you've ever imagined. I hope your wedding is ten times cooler than your wedding board on Pinterest. I hope your kids fall in love with the sport you want them to. I hope you get to see the world. And I hope you never forget what makes you happy. Good luck with life, and please never give up.
Your old pal,
Kiley
