Should Your Significant Other Also Be Your Best Friend?

Your Significant Other SHOULD Be Your Best Friend, And Anyone Who's Bitter About It Isn't Your Friend

Making fun of people who are BFFs with their person isn't cool.

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I see all the time on social media how you should always put your friends before your relationships, how friends will be there when the relationship ends, how relationships are temporary but friends are forever, etc.

And I'm here to remind you that friends who are anything less than happy for you and your (healthy) relationship are not true friends at all.

I'll start by acknowledging that yes, if you're in a healthy, stable relationship, you should have time for your friends regardless. There should not be any room for this type of bitterness to creep into your friendships in the first place. No healthy relationship involves shutting everyone out, and any boyfriend or girlfriend who demands you stop talking to all of your friends should be quickly shown to the door.

If you're like me, I don't have many friends anyway, so it's no issue to devote most of my spare time to my boyfriend. But if you're like my boyfriend, who is social and needs to see his friends frequently to be happy, then you need to maintain a balance in your relationship between your friends and your significant other.

With that short disclaimer aside, if you're making time for your friends and all they have to say is "Why are you spending so much time with him/her?" and "You used to want to hang out all the time and now I never see you," or "I'm supposed to be your best friend, not him/her, so you need to be spending more time with me," then newsflash:

This type of behavior is a huge red flag. Anyone who behaves this way is not your friend.

Your friends should not act as though they are entitled to spending time with you. They should understand that while they're important, you can also choose to spend time with your significant other first. They should be happy that you've found someone who makes you so happy. They might miss you, sure, but a healthy friendship will be open to that kind of discussion.

If I told my best friend that I missed her because she was with her boyfriend too much, we'd just make set plans for the next time we're free and that would be that. If one of your friends approaches you from a place of resentment for your person rather than from truly missing you, they aren't a good friend to you.

Plus, if your significant other is the right person for you, they'll probably wind up being your best friend anyway. Of course you'd want to spend so much time with them, and your other friends should get that. Hanging with your bf/gf is no different than hanging with any other best friend.

Along those same lines, be wary of people who outwardly express their dislike of your significant other to you. You should not stand for that kind of disrespect towards your person, and your "friends" should have more respect for you and your relationship.

You chose your person for a reason. Your friends don't have to understand your reasons, but they need to be respectful of them. It's very likely that they resent your bf/gf because they'd rather have you to themselves. There should be no room for this kind of disrespect in any friendship.

Real friends will keep their misgivings to themselves unless they're serious. If you're happy, healthy and safe, then they should be nothing but happy for you until you suggest otherwise.

One last time in case you missed it: friends who get upset with you for hanging out with your significant other or only talk about your relationship negatively are not your friends. Learn the signs of a toxic friendship and cut these people out. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

Cover Image Credit: wordpress.com

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41 Thank-Yous To My Boyfriend Who Stood By My Side For Three Semesters And Graduation

Life will be scary and difficult sometimes, but as long as you're there to hold my hand, I know that I will always be OK.

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These last several semesters at college, I've learned so much and I've changed so much, all because of one person. A person that came at a time when things were going downhill, and completely flipped my life around. I will never forget how terrible I felt before I met you, and how much better I am with you by my side. Truly, I don't know where I would be without you. And that's why it will always be impossible to thank you enough for everything that you have done for me.

But you do deserve to know how much of an impact you have on me.

1. Thank you for being my shoulder to cry on when I was struggling to get through this last semester.

2. Thank you for always listening to me rant about problems I was having with my friends.

3. Thank you for never getting tired of me talking about the same things over and over again.

4. Thank you for never acting like my past trauma was baggage or a burden.

5. Thank you for trying your best to understand and to be considerate of my anxiety.

6. Thank you for being patient with me when I take so long to process everything and sort out my emotions.

7. Thank you for dealing with my mood swings and intense emotions.

8. Thank you for never judging me over things I get embarrassed about.

9. Thank you for sharing your opinions with me, even when I didn't want to hear them, but I needed to hear them.

10. Thank you for opening my eyes to toxic behavior that I was blind to.

11. Thank you for always looking out for my health and well-being, and my future.

12. Thank you for helping me grow up and mature.

13. Thank you for always wanting to talk things out.

14. Thank you for making me feel important.

15. Thank you for giving me a reason to live.

16. Thank you for showing me what true love is.

17. Thank you for being my best friend and partner in life.

18. Thank you for breaking my walls down but never breaking a promise.

19. Thank you for keeping my heart safe.

20. Thank you for giving me endless reassurance.

21. Thank you for never making me worry about the fate of our relationship.

22. Thank you for always putting me first.

23. Thank you for being loyal and committed to me.

24. Thank you for all of the memories and adventures.

25. Thank you for never getting annoyed about taking photos.

26. Thank you for the best summer of my life.

27. Thank you for making college a much better experience for me.

28. Thank you for always putting a smile on my face.

29. Thank you for always catering to me and trying to make me happy.

30. Thank you for all the little favors you do for me and everything else you might think goes unnoticed (but trust me, I notice and I appreciate it so much).

31. Thank you for supporting everything that I'm passionate about.

32. Thank you for always making an effort to change.

33. Thank you for always forgiving me when I make (loads of) mistakes.

34. Thank you for being a good influence on me.

35. Thank you for being my role model and inspiring me to be more like you.

36. Thank you for the amount of time, effort, and love that you've put into our relationship.

37. Thank you for shaping my future.

38. Thank you for making me so hopeful and excited about everything that we are going to do throughout our life together.

39. Thank you for thinking that I'm worth it.

40. Thank you for wanting to get married, have kids, and spend your life with me.

41. Thank you for making my dreams come true.

Now that we've graduated, for the first time, we're dealing with the fact that we don't have a set path laid out for us. Real life is more than what we're used to. We might struggle to find jobs. Heck, we might find jobs but hate them. It might take forever to save up money. Things might not go according to how we planned them in our heads. We're going to have to juggle a bunch of different elements all at once. Life will be scary and difficult sometimes, but as long as you're there to hold my hand, I know that I will always be OK.

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