Your Significant Other SHOULD Be Your Best Friend, And Anyone Who's Bitter About It Isn't Your Friend

Your Significant Other SHOULD Be Your Best Friend, And Anyone Who's Bitter About It Isn't Your Friend

Making fun of people who are BFFs with their person isn't cool.

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I see all the time on social media how you should always put your friends before your relationships, how friends will be there when the relationship ends, how relationships are temporary but friends are forever, etc.

And I'm here to remind you that friends who are anything less than happy for you and your (healthy) relationship are not true friends at all.

I'll start by acknowledging that yes, if you're in a healthy, stable relationship, you should have time for your friends regardless. There should not be any room for this type of bitterness to creep into your friendships in the first place. No healthy relationship involves shutting everyone out, and any boyfriend or girlfriend who demands you stop talking to all of your friends should be quickly shown to the door.

If you're like me, I don't have many friends anyway, so it's no issue to devote most of my spare time to my boyfriend. But if you're like my boyfriend, who is social and needs to see his friends frequently to be happy, then you need to maintain a balance in your relationship between your friends and your significant other.

With that short disclaimer aside, if you're making time for your friends and all they have to say is "Why are you spending so much time with him/her?" and "You used to want to hang out all the time and now I never see you," or "I'm supposed to be your best friend, not him/her, so you need to be spending more time with me," then newsflash:

This type of behavior is a huge red flag. Anyone who behaves this way is not your friend.

Your friends should not act as though they are entitled to spending time with you. They should understand that while they're important, you can also choose to spend time with your significant other first. They should be happy that you've found someone who makes you so happy. They might miss you, sure, but a healthy friendship will be open to that kind of discussion.

If I told my best friend that I missed her because she was with her boyfriend too much, we'd just make set plans for the next time we're free and that would be that. If one of your friends approaches you from a place of resentment for your person rather than from truly missing you, they aren't a good friend to you.

Plus, if your significant other is the right person for you, they'll probably wind up being your best friend anyway. Of course you'd want to spend so much time with them, and your other friends should get that. Hanging with your bf/gf is no different than hanging with any other best friend.

Along those same lines, be wary of people who outwardly express their dislike of your significant other to you. You should not stand for that kind of disrespect towards your person, and your "friends" should have more respect for you and your relationship.

You chose your person for a reason. Your friends don't have to understand your reasons, but they need to be respectful of them. It's very likely that they resent your bf/gf because they'd rather have you to themselves. There should be no room for this kind of disrespect in any friendship.

Real friends will keep their misgivings to themselves unless they're serious. If you're happy, healthy and safe, then they should be nothing but happy for you until you suggest otherwise.

One last time in case you missed it: friends who get upset with you for hanging out with your significant other or only talk about your relationship negatively are not your friends. Learn the signs of a toxic friendship and cut these people out. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.

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10 Things Someone Who Grew Up In A Private School Knows

The 10 things that every private school-goer knows all too well.

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1. Uniforms

Plaid. The one thing that every private school-goer knows all too well. It was made into jumpers, skirts, shorts, scouts, hair ties, basically anything you could imagine, the school plaid was made into. You had many different options on what to wear on a normal day, but you always dreaded dress uniform day because of skirts and ballet flats. But it made waking up late for school a whole lot easier.

2. New people were a big deal

New people weren't a big thing. Maybe one or two a year to a grade, but after freshman year no one new really showed up, making the new kid a big deal.

3. You've been to school with most of your class since Kindergarten


Most of your graduating class has been together since Kindergarten, maybe even preschool, if your school has it. They've become part of your family, and you can honestly say you've grown up with your best friends.

4. You've had the same teachers over and over

Having the same teacher two or three years in a row isn't a real surprise. They know what you are capable of and push you to do your best.

5. Everyone knows everybody. Especially everyone's business.

Your graduating class doesn't exceed 150. You know everyone in your grade and most likely everyone in the high school. Because of this, gossip spreads like wildfire. So everyone knows what's going on 10 minutes after it happens.

6. Your hair color was a big deal

If it's not a natural hair color, then forget about it. No dyeing your hair hot pink or blue or you could expect a phone call to your parents saying you have to get rid of it ASAP.

7. Your school isn't like "Gossip Girl"

There is no eating off campus for lunch or casually using your cell phone in class. Teachers are more strict and you can't skip class or just walk right off of campus.

8. Sports are a big deal

Your school is the best of the best at most sports. The teams normally go to the state championships. The rest of the school that doesn't play sports attends the games to cheer on the teams.

9. Boys had to be clean-shaven, and hair had to be cut

If you came to school and your hair was not cut or your beard was not shaved, you were written up and made to go in the bathroom and shave or have the head of discipline cut your hair. Basically, if you know you're getting written up for hair, it's best just to check out and go get a hair cut.

10. Free dress days were like a fashion show

Wearing a school uniform every day can really drive you mad. That free dress day once a month is what you lived for. It was basically a fashion show for everyone, except for those upperclassmen who were over everything and just wore sweat pants.

Cover Image Credit: Authors Photos

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A Letter To The Love Of My Life

I never thought that I would find a love like ours.

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There is so much beauty in you. Inside and out. I know I'm not supposed to call a man beautiful, but you are much so. I often try and think of another word to describe you, but I have yet to find one.

You are breathtaking. Your eyes are an ocean: sometimes a bright, stunning teal and other times a deep sea hue. The freckles on your back are stars in the night sky. Your smile stops my heart from beating as it sinks to my stomach. You laugh and there it is again, pounding deep in my chest.

You are unbelievable. I had never heard of a man like you. I didn't know that they existed. Now that I have you, I mean it when I say that I have never been so happy. I care so much for you.

You are my sunny days and my umbrella in the rainy ones. You are my light and my guide through the dark. You make every day worth living.

When we started speaking, I had plans that weren't meant for two. You saw the hurt that I had deep within me and you cared like no one ever has. You loved me when I thought love was nothing but a lie.

You showed me what love is. As my friend, you took care of me when I had lost all faith in myself. You were there when my 'best friends' weren't. You were my best friend. You saw every flaw in me and you loved me through it.

You didn't run away. You didn't criticize. You were the reason I began to believe in love again.

We have had our ups and downs. You were there at two in the afternoon and at three in the morning. You were there when I was distant.

You told me what I needed to hear and sometimes slapped me with the truth. You were there through other failed relationships. You knew before that those boys weren't the one for me because... well... you are.

I fell in love with you.

But you didn't know and I was too scared to tell you. I remember thinking of all of the times you used to come over just to watch TV with me and I was praying that you would randomly find the courage to kiss me. There are moments engraved in my mind where I thought, "I want this for the rest of our lives," but you had no clue. I would fall asleep on your chest and dream of you and me.

Right now, you're next to me sleeping soundly. My plans have changed. They still aren't intended for two -- I'm thinking maybe four or five? We can decide how many later. I wake up next to you and I go to sleep in your arms. You are a dream come true. I love you. Thank you.

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