Don't Give Up On Love

Whatever You Do, Don't Give Up On Love, It's Really All We Have

Knowing what a heartbreak feels like taught me what true love really means.

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Throughout my high school years, I suffered through quite a few heartbreaks when it came to romance. After each one, I was always told the cliches, like there are plenty of fish in the sea or one day my prince would come. At first, I believed it, and patiently waited until the perfect boy came along. Potential Prince Charmings entered my life, but after playing with my emotions, they proved not to be the ideal boy either.

Suffering through a couple breakups eventually had me feeling defeated. I was terrified to feel that kind of pain again, so I figured if I just stopped dating, there would be no way to experience that.

Seeing couples outside or beautiful romance movies made me realize that this was no way to approach the situation. I wanted to find someone that would make me feel the way Rose did when she spoke to Jack, but I didn't know how to do this while ensuring that I wouldn't get hurt.

After giving up for a while because I still lived in fear of getting devastated by a boy, I remember getting a piece of advice that not every boyfriend needs to turn into a husband. Initially, I was confused because I thought that finding your soulmate was the whole purpose of dating. They later explained that yes, people date to find a forever love, but sometimes that doesn't work out and that's actually okay. Dating when you're young is meant to be a learning experience, yet it still has the possibility to last.

I accepted this wise guidance and eventually reopened my heart. I'm extremely grateful that I did because it allowed me to begin dating my current boyfriend, Louis. He allowed me to break the lock I had around my heart because he proved to be the kindest, most genuine, loving person.

This taught me that some people truly have all of the right intentions and if it's true love, your partner would go to the ends of the world for you. He's everything that I didn't even know I needed in a boyfriend and more. In the past nine months of being together, he has turned me into my best self and has guaranteed that I always feel appreciated.

I now recognize the influence getting your heart shattered can have, and it actually serves a positive impact. Yes, breakups hurt... a lot. No matter how traumatic the heartbreak, everyone has an opportunity to gather themselves after a suitable period of mourning and use their experiences to better their next relationship.

Former flings teach a person the traits that someone should seek and those to be wary of. Knowing the red flags of a partner that doesn't consider your feelings as a priority could save someone from future pain. Most importantly, being with someone who doesn't completely value your love will further your appreciation for those that do.

To this day, I still don't believe in many cliches, but I know this one is certain: you must kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince.

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Why You Should Stop Chasing Him

You deserve better.
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They say “the thrill of the chase" makes someone more enticing. There's just something about wanting something you can't have that drives you crazy (in a good way). There is never a dull moment. Pursuing him is a challenge. Nothing comes easily. What's the fun in that anyway?

I'm going to tell you this: stop chasing him. Stop forgiving him when he forgets to answer your text messages and phone calls. Stop being the one to always make plans. Stop letting him bail on you. Stop waiting around for him. Stop being lied to. Stop making excuses when he doesn't make time for you. There is a difference between someone who is “hard to get" and a flat out jerk who doesn't give you the time of day. Stop letting him use you.

You deserve to be with someone who makes you fall asleep every night in the middle of texting him because neither of you want the conversation to end. You deserve someone who plans dates for the two of you. You deserve someone who asks you to hang out before midnight. You deserve someone who wants to spend time with you just as much as you do with them. You deserve someone who insists on paying for your ice cream. You deserve someone who won't deceive you. You deserve someone who is straightforward. You deserve attention. You deserve affection. You deserve a partnership that is mutual, not one-sided. You deserve to be chased.

You are better than 3 a.m. “Hey" texts. You are better than a night spent watching a movie just to fool around. You are better than trying to decode his vague messages. You are better than his shadiness. You are better than mind games. You are better than being ignored.

If you have to chase him, he's not worth it. Don't settle for someone who makes you beg for his attention. If he is genuinely interested in getting to know you, he will put in the effort. A relationship where your feelings are reciprocated is far more rewarding than one where you constantly feel like you have to drag him along.

Change your mentality. Become more independent. Be confident, be bold. Find happiness in being alone. Don't waste your time pathetically chasing after someone who doesn't feel the same, but doesn't have the heart or the courage to tell you so. Your self-confidence and positivity will make you radiant, and eventually, you will attract the kind of guy who is mature enough to not mess with your head.

Cover Image Credit: weheartit.com

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I Am Not Anyone's Second Choice

I'm not just here as your last resort.

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I always see those inspirational quotes/pictures going around on social media about how it's okay to cut toxic people out of your life. For the longest time, this wasn't something that I related to at all. I had my friends and I didn't have any problems.

But throughout my time in college, I've had people in my life that I realized only cared about me when it was convenient for them.

This has proved true in my relationships and friendships. I never really realized it until I started thinking more about it, but since I was younger, I've always been taken advantage of. Like I've said before, I have such a big heart and I always forgive people, even when they don't deserve it.

Most of the relationships I've been in, I came away feeling like I was just being used. I also had a friend that made me feel like that way as well. All of these people only reached out to me when everyone else wasn't available. They only reached out to me when they just didn't want to be alone, and they knew that I would text them back, hang out with them, be there for them.

It got to the point where these relationships all made me feel like I was just people's second choice. Like they didn't care about me unless they had no one else to hang out with.

But I'm not anyone else's second choice.

I've finally gotten to a point in my life where I've realized that I do have toxic people in my life. And I've finally come to the realization that I have to cut those kinds of people out.

I'm not the kind of person to say that I'm any better or any worse than those around me, but I definitely don't deserve to be taken advantage of or used. No one deserves that.

And I'm not going to be treated like that anymore because I'm not a second option. For anyone.

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