In my personal experience I’ve made friends, and I’ve lost them. Throughout time i've learned how to be a good friend and do well by people I consider my friends. Friendship should be built on caring behavior. With I’ve developed myself into someone who is always brutally honest, and just a straight on kind of person. Everybody claims to want their friends to be brutally honest. But when you come to a situation where you know your good friend is doing damage to their personal and mental health such as addictions, or harmful, toxic friendships-- then what? Do you sit back and be “supportive” and let the just “do them” and live life the way they want because that's their life not yours, or do you speak up and tell them ‘hey this is a really bad situation, you’re damaging yourself’?
I’ve struggled with this for a long time, even in middle school when girls as young as 13 were talking about smoking cigarettes and pot. I knew that was a damaging path for them, but as I was young and naive i thought ‘hey it’s their life who am I to say anything’, I said nothing. As time went on I learned that if you care about someone, you should tell them that they are damaging their health and you’re worried about them. This seems so obvious to me when you really think about it. If your friend started walking towards the edge of a tall building you wouldn't be like “it's not my place to say anything” you would say “hey, don't do that you could hurt yourself!”, right? So why do we keep our mouths shut when our friends fall down addictive paths whether it be becoming an alcoholic or a drug addict. Why do we as a society say that we should just support them in hopes that it’s just a phase, or that's it's just college and it’s what teenagers do. Now I don't mean to confuse alcoholism, with drinking on occasion maybe on the weekends or at a party. What I’m talking about is the pattern and need for yourself to be un-sober or the need to be accepted by toxic people.
Many people I’ve encountered always say “I love that you’re straight up! It's so great that you’re brutally honest!” that is until i become brutally honest with them. When I see someone falling down a path and i say something, or make an observation the response normally is first off denying the fact that they in fact have a problem and secondly getting upset with me because I spoke my mind. They have an attitude where they kind of question “how could you say that, you're my friend!” but that's exactly why I’m saying it, because i care. If i didn't care id let you continuously hurt yourself in the long run, whether it be toxic friends, drug/alcohol addictions, or anything that is just mentally damaging for your health. Friends aren’t people who support you when you do something wrong or damaging, that's an enabler. A friend is someone who will tell you “hey, what you’re doing is messed up”.