If Your Friend Is Dating Someone You Have A Bad Feeling About, SAY SOMETHING!
Start writing a post
Swoon

If Your Friend Is Dating Someone You Have A Bad Feeling About, SAY SOMETHING!

Honesty can be difficult, but it's important to tell the truth before it's too late.

566
If Your Friend Is Dating Someone You Have A Bad Feeling About, SAY SOMETHING!
Photo by Sam Manns on Unsplash

Alright guys, here’s the deal.

We all have had a friend who has dated someone or been friends with someone who we do not necessarily like or have a bad feeling about.

It is so difficult to say something when you see that your friend is head over heels in love or seems to be having the time of their life, but trust me when I tell you that the feeling in your gut that you’ve been questioning is there for a reason and nine out of ten times, it’s there for a VERY good reason.

Let me expand a bit…

A few years ago, I was in a four and half year relationship. When it started, everything seemed so perfect and he seemed like a dream. I remember all of the typical comments you receive when you first start dating someone..

“Oh my gosh! You two look SO cute together!”

“I am so happy for you! He is a really great guy!”

“You deserve this!”

I’m sure that my friends meant these comments in all sincerity, but honestly, they were not what they were truly feeling from the initial news of me and my now ex being together and I wish that they had been honest with me from the beginning, and this is why.

Although I may have been so extremely excited to be dating one of the coolest guys in school and have been so excited about being in this new relationship, I needed some people to remind me of some important red flags that I was simply too blind at the time to see.

I was in that relationship the entire time thinking that my friends fully supported me being with him. In times when we would fight or when something was done that was extremely questionable, I continued to fight for the relationship with full confidence thinking that I must be crazy to think that maybe we shouldn’t be together because all of my friends seem to be in full support of my relationship, so why shouldn’t I fight for it?

Honestly, some honesty and guidance from my friends would have been so helpful, especially since I value and cherish my friends and their opinions so deeply.

I think many people can agree with me when I say that there are many times when you are in a relationship and are beginning to feel some major doubts, and one of the first places one looks for confirmation and wisdom from is friends. It is SO important to be honest in these moments guys.

I know that being honest with friends is extremely difficult when they seem so happy and blind to what it is you may be feeling, but being a good friend doesn’t mean you’re never going to hurt their feelings for fear of ruining their present, it’s caring about them enough to help them build a better future. Hurt feelings and all.

In no way am I trying to condemn you if you have found yourself in a similar position of not being completely honest and seeing a friend hurt because I am sure we have all experienced this struggle in one way or another, but hear me when I say that your words are SO important and, for the sake of your friends, your honesty can go a very long way.

I remember when my four and half year relationship ended and hearing so many of my friends say things like,

“Yeah, I had a bad feeling about him from the very beginning but I was too scared to say something because you seemed so happy.”

GUYS. That hurt so much to hear. I felt like a silly girl who was chasing her emotions and neglecting logic and reason. This in NO way, shape, or form, made me feel good about my decision to end the relationship. It made me feel dumb for being in it for so long.

When you speak up about your feelings about someone in a relationship you question, expect there to be pushback. Expect them to be thrown off. Expect them to not understand. It’s okay that they may not at the moment, but I promise you that they will later.

How do you do this in a way that communicates love and care? Have some 1-1 time with them. Have a friend date and open the topic of conversation with something like

“Hey! So there is something I would really like to talk to you about. First off, I am SO happy that you have found someone who makes you happy as your happiness is extremely important to me, but I just want to be honest with you about some things as I think it’s important that you know…”

and continue the conversation from there.

That way your friends know you love and support them and that you’re not communicating with them to make them feel dumb or to make them feel like you’re only thinking about yourself. You’re doing it because you LOVE them and you care about their future.

Remember guys, sometimes doing the right thing is hard and being honest can be extremely difficult, but it is so important to be honest with your friends and to love and support them through that honesty.

Trust me, it means more than you think and, if they do not see it at the moment, you and your friend will benefit from it in the future.

Report this Content
Health and Wellness

Exposing Kids To Nature Is The Best Way To Get Their Creative Juices Flowing

Constantly introducing young children to the magical works of nature will further increase the willingness to engage in playful activities as well as broaden their interactions with their peers

51957

Whenever you are feeling low and anxious, just simply GO OUTSIDE and embrace nature! According to a new research study published in Frontiers in Psychology, being connected to nature and physically touching animals and flowers enable children to be happier and altruistic in nature. Not only does nature exert a bountiful force on adults, but it also serves as a therapeutic antidote to children, especially during their developmental years.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

5 Simple Ways To Give Yourself Grace, Especially When Life Gets Hard

Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we are becoming.

92421
Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

If there's one thing I'm absolutely terrible at, it's giving myself grace. I'm easily my own worst critic in almost everything that I do. I'm a raging perfectionist, and I have unrealistic expectations for myself at times. I can remember simple errors I made years ago, and I still hold on to them. The biggest thing I'm trying to work on is giving myself grace. I've realized that when I don't give myself grace, I miss out on being human. Even more so, I've realized that in order to give grace to others, I need to learn how to give grace to myself, too. So often, we let perfection dominate our lives without even realizing it. I've decided to change that in my own life, and I hope you'll consider doing that, too. Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we're becoming. As you read through these five affirmations and ways to give yourself grace, I hope you'll take them in. Read them. Write them down. Think about them. Most of all, I hope you'll use them to encourage yourself and realize that you are never alone and you always have the power to change your story.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

Breaking Down The Beginning, Middle, And End of Netflix's Newest 'To All The Boys' Movie

Noah Centineo and Lana Condor are back with the third and final installment of the "To All The Boys I've Loved Before" series

358691
Netflix

Were all teenagers and twenty-somethings bingeing the latest "To All The Boys: Always and Forever" last night with all of their friends on their basement TV? Nope? Just me? Oh, how I doubt that.

I have been excited for this movie ever since I saw the NYC skyline in the trailer that was released earlier this year. I'm a sucker for any movie or TV show that takes place in the Big Apple.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

4 Ways To Own Your Story, Because Every Bit Of It Is Worth Celebrating

I hope that you don't let your current chapter stop you from pursuing the rest of your story.

224621
Photo by Manny Moreno on Unsplash

Every single one of us has a story.

I don't say that to be cliché. I don't say that to give you a false sense of encouragement. I say that to be honest. I say that to be real.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

How Young Feminists Can Understand And Subvert The Internalized Male Gaze

Women's self-commodification, applied through oppression and permission, is an elusive yet sexist characteristic of a laissez-faire society, where women solely exist to be consumed. (P.S. justice for Megan Fox)

115757
Paramount Pictures

Within various theories of social science and visual media, academics present the male gaze as a nebulous idea during their headache-inducing meta-discussions. However, the internalized male gaze is a reality, which is present to most people who identify as women. As we mature, we experience realizations of the perpetual male gaze.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

It's Important To Remind Yourself To Be Open-Minded And Embrace All Life Has To Offer

Why should you be open-minded when it is so easy to be close-minded?

302989

Open-mindedness. It is something we all need a reminder of some days. Whether it's in regards to politics, religion, everyday life, or rarities in life, it is crucial to be open-minded. I want to encourage everyone to look at something with an unbiased and unfazed point of view. I oftentimes struggle with this myself.

Keep Reading... Show less
Swoon

14 Last Minute Valentine's Day Gifts Your S.O. Will Love

If they love you, they're not going to care if you didn't get them some expensive diamond necklace or Rolex watch; they just want you.

185199

Let me preface this by saying I am not a bad girlfriend.

I am simply a forgetful one.

Keep Reading... Show less
Student Life

10 Helpful Tips For College Students Taking Online Courses This Semester

Here are several ways to easily pass an online course.

125285
Photo by Vlada Karpovich on Pexels

With spring semester starting, many college students are looking to take courses for the semester. With the pandemic still ongoing, many students are likely looking for the option to take online courses.

Online courses at one time may have seemed like a last minute option for many students, but with the pandemic, they have become more necessary. Online courses can be very different from taking an on-campus course. You may be wondering what the best way to successfully complete an online course is. So, here are 10 helpful tips for any student who is planning on taking online courses this semester!

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments