As my freshman year comes to a close, I am overwhelmed with many different feelings. I was fortunate enough to spend a week at home before having to come back to school for finals and when I came back, it was completely different. Usually, I can't find a single parking space and I am usually greeted on my floor with loud screams, music or laughs, but this time, it was different.
This time, it was almost completely silent. The only sound I did hear was a vacuum cleaner because it is time to pack up, clean and move out. Finals week is almost over, and people are leaving left and right. Every time I turn around, someone else is turning in their keys and saying goodbye to their freshman year.
I've had the privilege of living in a freshman dorm this past year, and it has been nothing but interesting. I have met some amazing people and friends, and I can't believe it is all ending. When walking back to my room after a week of being home, I first felt extremely angry with myself.
I walked past a girl that I had seen millions of times, but had never said a word to. I had been living in the same building, riding the same bus and going to the same school as this girl for the past eight months, and I didn't even know her name. I knew absolutely nothing about her.
I had all this time to get to know her and many other people and instead, I spent it driving back and forth to home every weekend and sitting in bed watching Netflix. I was angry that I hadn't spent more time getting to know other people.
I then felt overwhelmingly sad. As much as I don't like it here, I have made some awesome friends and some awesome memories. All of us now are going separate ways and doing different things in different places this summer, and then some of us aren't coming back to this school next year.
Everything is changing, and it is all happening so fast. The thought that I might not see any of these people anymore was a difficult thing for me to swallow, but it's OK because great things are ahead for all of us.
I then felt grateful. I've had a tough year, but I have also had an amazing year. I really have learned so much about myself and about the world. This place and these people have pushed me to be my best self. They have forced me to try new things, and I have been forced to realize where I went wrong and to try to fix it and it has made me such a better person.
Freshman year has been one of the most eye-opening years of my life. As I pack up the last of my things and say all of my goodbyes to some astounding people, I am thankful, sad, happy and excited. As this chapter ends, I'm looking forward to what is next, and I'm excited for what the future holds.
