It’s always been taboo for girls to masturbate. In middle school, my friends and I would ask our guy friends if they jerked off, and when they would finally admit it to us, we’d gossip about it for hours (in retrospect, how did we talk about something so miniscule for so long?). You never heard of girls asking other girls about it though, because it just wasn’t something that they did. Masturbating, and especially masturbating to porn, is an activity that everyone deemed appropriate for boys only. It’s like a secret club that you need to have a penis to join.

Why, though? Why can’t girls join? At what point in the history of the world did girls get the seal of disapproval from society in regards to self pleasure? What makes it so unreasonable for women to enjoy their bodies in the same way that men enjoy theirs? Most girls won’t admit to masturbating because they don’t want their friends to think they’re gross, or because they think it’s something that a guy should be doing for them. Well, listen up ladies, carpe diem, grab a vibrator, turn on the porn and #FreeTheOrgasm for these four important reasons.

1. It’s a stress reliever.

There are other ways to relieve stress than by eating containers of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream while watching Orange is the New Black. Sure, taking a hot bath and reading Cosmopolitan can be relaxing, but if you really want to stimulate feelings of comfort and pleasure you should trade in the magazine for your hand and have some private time. “The Orgasms Answer Guide,” a book written by sexologist Beverly Whipple, explains how the hormone oxytocin helps stimulate relaxing sensations. When a female orgasms oxytocin is released from the region of the brain into the bloodstream. A study featured in Whipple’s book by Carol Einkleib Ellison in 2000 revealed that 39% percent of women between the ages of 23 and 90 masturbate in order to relax. So don’t be ashamed if you'd rather stay in and pleasure yourself than go to da club with your friends after getting a bad grade on a final. And especially don't be afraid to put one finger down when someone says "never have I ever masturbated" (they're probably lying anyway).

2. You’ll have better sex.

The key to having good sex is to understand your body and its sexual needs. Before becoming intimate with someone else it’s important to explore yourself and figure out what you like so that you can help your partner figure out what you like too. It’s hard enough with one of you going in blindly, but if you know what it takes to get you to O then you’ll have a much easier time experiencing it with someone else.

3. You’ll become more confident in your skin.

Alone time with yourself can really change your personal attitude. There’s a difference between having someone make you feel good and making yourself feel good. Masturbating gives you the opportunity to experience a sense of empowerment. Knowing that you can pleasure yourself without the help of someone else is an incredible feeling that will help you walk a little taller when you walk down the street.

4. It’s a huge step towards gender equality.

What separates men from women? Genitalia. What shouldn’t separate men and women? Whether it’s acceptable to masturbate or not. If all women agree to stop lying about masturbating and admit to doing something that is completely natural, then we as a society can take huge strides towards gender equality.

5. It feels good!

Well, duh!