"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
~ Dr. Seuss
Just being yourself can be hard. Not necessarily avoiding being something you're not, but just being brave enough to open up and show people who you really are.
When I came to college, I knew my social life would end up in one of three ways. 1) I would find no outlet to feel comfortable and be myself, being painfully miserable, 2) I would continue to be socially closed-off and distant at school and call my family frequently in order to remain sane or 3) I would open up socially and finally find freedom in being myself around strangers.
Honestly, I was terrified of the transition from the loneliness and fear of high school into college turning into option one or two, but I knew three would be the best for me, and by the grace of God, that's what I chose.
And as a result, I've grown more in my time in college than any other time in my life. God took me from being afraid of having conversations with acquaintances, to being able to have life-giving conversations with strangers and be totally comfortable. I just had to be willing to open up and be myself. It's a process, but I had to learn to let go of my pride and fear of being rejected in order to find people who will genuinely accept me for who I am.
For me that looked like simply talking to new people and keeping conversations going, opening up more about myself when people ask and being willing to be vulnerable in the right situations. I also had to adopt the mentality that I can't keep doing life alone and trying to solve all my problems in my head, keeping everything bottled up inside. Part of people accepting you for who you are is talking about what's going on so that they can actually know your struggles and what you're like. You can't connect to people if you give them nothing to connect with.
Another aspect was accepting my sense of humor and throwing my puns out there when the opportunities come. Sometimes people laugh and more often than not they just roll their eyes as I laugh at my own jokes, but if people can accept me for that part of my personality as well, then that's great. But if not, I know there are people out there that will. And if there are certain traits you have -- your hobbies, your style, what you're passionate about, your past, your dreams, things that you're afraid people won't accept you for -- just know and trust that if not now, there are people out there who will accept you for who you are, eventually. You just have to be open to putting yourself out there and loving yourself for who you are.
Don't change who you are in order to be accepted. There are certainly things you should work on to grow as a person -- like you shouldn't be determined to always procrastinate or not get your life together -- and you should be able to discern what's good to change and what's actually a part of who you are, but don't change who you inherently are in order to be accepted.
My sister loves country music and I don't, but I still accept her for who she is regardless of our different tastes in music. Another friend of mine is an extrovert and I'm an introvert, but we accept our differences and get along just fine. People don't even have to be on the same page as you or agree with you or be just like you -- It's just a matter of them accepting you despite your little quirks and differences.
But really, as Dr. Seuss said, just be yourself. And love who God made you to be, because how can you expect people to accept you for who you are if you're too afraid to show them? Yes, there's the risk that you will be rejected, but if someone can't love you for who you are, then they don't need to be in your life. I can't tell you how freeing it is to not only find people who love you for who you are and appreciate you, but even more so when those people see the deepest, rawest and ugliest parts of you and still choose to stay by your side and hold you up.
There's freedom found in putting yourself out there, hiding nothing and being taken just as you are.
What's more important to you, your emotional safety or your freedom?
