Dear Mom,
In the last two years, a lot has changed in both of our lives, and all of a sudden the attention I usually gave to you has dwindled to the point of almost disappearing. It wasn't that I loved you any less, quite the opposite actually, I just ran out of time and energy after everything, and somehow you got the short end of it.
For that, I am sorry.
I'm sorry if you ever felt less than, left out or forgotten by me. Because to be quite honest with you, I can't imagine my life without you.
You are the first person I call with the good, the bad and the ugly. The person I call when my life seems to be falling apart just so you may put it all back together. The person who helped me fall asleep when the nightmares kept me from my bed.
At the end of the day mom, you have always been the person I aspired to impress. More importantly, the person I aspire to become.
Even on the days when we don't get along. Which seem to be more often than ever before.
When dad died, I know it hurts you too. For the first time, you had this burden of being the only surviving parent. This burden to be our only form of support, even though you pretty much already were. This burden of being healthy, even though you too have already battled your own health issues and concerns.
What I hate to think you don't realize most days is how I already see you. How I tell everyone that you are my miracle parent. The one who has survived it all. The one who keeps fighting even though life surely loves to kick us around. The one who has always had my back.
Even when I didn't want you to.
Mom, I know I can never take back the words I have said to you. Nor can I shake my own selfish hopes that you FAR outlive 44, but I hope you know just how much joy I feel in having you as my parent.
How blessed I feel to have you on my team. Even when I disagree with you because you still add a fresh perspective. I recognize that.
Most importantly, I hope you know how thankful I am to be your daughter. That somehow God chose you to suffer through this hectic and crazy life with me.
Because you are the freshest part of my day and greatest motivator I will ever have.
So for every day, I have left you feeling down or forgotten, I hope you realize it was never intentional nor malicious. Instead, I hope you realize just how much I love and admire you.
You are my inspiration.
I love you more than there are stars in the sky.
Your Little Girl, May
