People will hurt you. Sometimes it’s enemies, but the worst hurts are from the ones you love -- the ones who swore they never would hurt you. It’s important to come to terms with the idea that even people you love will hurt you. Unfortunately, it may lead to the end of a relationship. However, in order to move on positively, it’s important to not stoop to revenge, but rather surrender to the pain, and forgive.
Revenge is easy. When one feels mistreated, it’s easy to think revenge is the answer. We want to get even, or prove something just out of pure hatred. But revenge isn’t the answer. In the long run, it doesn’t do anyone any good. If someone wronged you, why is it necessary that you wrong them as well? The fallacy that you will feel better after revenge is incorrect. Sure, it may feel good in the moment, but what good does it bring you, and what good does it bring them? And wouldn’t purposely hurting someone make you as heartless as you think the one who hurt you is?
The thought of hurting people because they “deserve it" is why many people are not at peace. If you hold onto the distress and pain people have caused you, it will hold you back from moving on. People often forget that the harm that has been done to them, especially from the ones they love, is not out of spite. The pain caused was for the benefit of the individual, not the stress of the other. Maybe even to the extent of selfishness. But, if they wanted to make a decision that was best and healthiest for themselves, why should you stand in the way? Wouldn’t you do that for yourself? Of course, not every decision is because of that, and sometimes people don’t care. But when the decisions that hurt you are for the love of themselves, decisions you may make in their shoes, it’s crucial to understand maybe they do love you, but they need to love themselves too. That is why their decisions may negatively affect you. But know it’s not out of spite, unlike revenge.
It’s very difficult to forgive. Forgiving means acceptance of what happened, regardless of circumstances, and letting go. Yes, sometimes the heart takes a longer time to heal and accept than the mind, but I promise forgiving is far more rewarding than revenge. Revenge may be sweet in the moment, but the sweetness dies down. However, with time and forgiveness, you will heal. It’s a voluntary process that requires effort, but with forgiveness, you can move on to something better, without holding anything to your heart. In order to move on in a positive manner, it’s important to let go of the things hindering your growth. Instead, let it help you grow. Let the pain be a lesson of what you don’t want in your life. Forgiveness is beautiful, and it opens new doors in your life. Another open door in your journey is a wonderful thing; don’t let your feelings get the best of you. Feelings are like people who come and go -- the pain won’t last forever.
And to the people who have been hurt by loved ones, and are still holding on to the pain -- knowing what they have done wrong, don’t forget what they have done right.
“Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting.” --William Arthur Ward
