If you have ever been on the recruiting side of rush, you have more than likely experienced the tragedy of having a rush crush choose another house over your own on Bid Day. You get to know a girl, you share laughs and heart to hearts with her, then that perfect and adorable little girl whom you have already pretty much planned your big little jerseys for does the unthinkable and chooses another sisterhood to be a part of. You end up feeling an array of emotions that you don't quite understand how to take. I mean, you have only known this girl for a little less than a week, after all. "It shouldn't matter this much," you think to yourself. But it does. Here are the five stages of reactions you more than likely went through as you began to cope with this loss.
Step 1: Denial
This is the step in which you first realize that you lost her. The recruitment chair is reading the list of girls that DID choose your sorority and her name was never called. You know something must be wrong with the list, because there is no way that she didn't choose your house. It's impossible. Perhaps the sweet, mistaken recruitment chair just read over her name and didn't call it out. Even worse, what if she accidentally grabbed another house's bid list? Now how will we ever know what names to write on the signs for when these girls are running home to us?! Both of these outlandish scenarios are way more plausible than the reality of losing this girl, which is not an option in your eyes.
Step 2: Self Doubt
Once you've finally given in and accepted that her name is not on the list (you know because you made the recruitment chair let you look for yourself, still insisting that she was wrong), your next immediate thought is what you did wrong. What could you have possibly said differently that would have convinced her that this was where she belonged? Was it something that you did? Did you scare her away when you accidentally called her Little? You thought that would be endearing, but looking back maybe you acted too eager in front of her. WHAT COULD YOU HAVE DONE DIFFERENTLY?
PSA: Nine times out of 10 it was not your fault nor anyone else's that you did not get this girl. The girl simply felt a stronger connection at another house. That fact doesn't stop you from having regrets, though.
Step 3: Anger
At this point you're tired of blaming yourself and instead turn your thoughts in the direction of another emotion. Okay, you're pissed. How dare this girl not see the true sisterhood and love you have for this place and not want to be a part of it?! You spent all of last semester and the past summer being prepared on how to make these girls want to become a part of, in your opinion, the best sorority on campus—and for what? To have this girl completely give up the opportunity to join? Heck no; that is unacceptable. In this stage, it is probably best that your sisters lock you in one of the rooms in the house, because there will more than likely be yelling and throwing things. Actually, scratch that. Things will definitely be thrown.
Step 4: Acceptance
Okay, so maybe you can't completely blame the girl for choosing to go somewhere else. After all, isn't that what rush is all about? It is intended for girls in their late teens and early twenties to find a place which they can call home for the next four years and then ultimately for a lifetime. It is a week of self-discovery, of making choices based on what you personally feel and ignoring the opinions of others who want to make that decision for you. The girl that you wanted so badly chose a different house. So what? Having Panhallenic friends is great, and you're happy for her that she chose where she most saw herself striving and fitting in. You wish her nothing but happiness and joy in her time spent in the sisterhood that she chose and can't wait to see how she will thrive during her next four years spent there. Of course, you come to this peaceful assurance in your head and not out loud, because your sisters just saw you in the angry stage and to flip-flop between such two extremes so rapidly is what some people like to refer to as "psychotic." That's okay, though—you know you're going to be okay.
Step 5: EXCITEMENT
Rush Crush there or not, It is Bid Day! You are all smiles as you write a girl's name that you have never met, or perhaps one whom you have met and might not love as much as the one that got away—but that you will grow to love even more. There is a new pledge class that is getting ready to join you and your sisters on amazing journey throughout your college career, and you can't wait to welcome, meet, and love on all these girls. After all, these are the ladies that will become your sisters in the next couple of months and that will be there to fall in love with your sisterhood just as you did when you were in their position. You no longer count losing this one girl as a loss, because you now have so many others that you cannot wait to get to know.
