When entering the dating world, there are so many things to learn. There are so many ways to approach love. You go through heartbreak after heartbreak, time after time. Then, one day you find someone whose heart is in the same place yours is. Being with them helps you forget. At the time, you aren’t looking for anything special because you’ve been through so much already. You decide to take it slow so that you don’t make the same mistakes. But, they’re ready. They’re ready to put it all on the table and give you everything. So, the two of you remain officially unofficial. You’re both happy with just privately being who you are. People know, but do they really?
It’s going great for months, you go on dates and you meet the parents. Your relationship becomes more open. Everything feels exactly how it should. Except it isn’t how it should be. See, unknowingly, the both of you use each other to get over heartbreak. It was never supposed to be serious but it was. It was very serious and it was scary. You find yourself putting a lot on the line for someone who may not even be serious about you. But, he says he is and his actions say he is, so why wouldn’t he be?
Suddenly, it just ends. It ends the same way your last relationship ended. Everything you tried so hard to avoid comes back up like vomit. You never even saw it coming. You can think of several reasons why it went wrong and for a while, you are spending a lot of time asking God what’s wrong with you. He tells you how “great” you are and sends his apologies but if you were so great, why did it end so abruptly? Why did he let you believe that everything was good? Why didn’t he see you worth fighting for, once again?
After lots of questions and prayers, I realized a few things. This breakup didn’t ruin me. And I never once thought that this guy was a bad person. Instead of blaming and blacklisting him, I took it as a lesson learned because surprisingly he taught me a lot of lessons. So this is a short letter to you:
Dear Lesson,
Thank you for my forever friendships in people I would have never had the opportunity to meet otherwise. Thank you for teaching me the importance of not stressing over things I cannot control. You taught me to find joy in spur of the moment adventures. You also taught me that not everyone is meant to be your one. Some people are just meant to prep you for the person God has for you. It was bittersweet and I am forever grateful. I hope you learned as much from me as I have learned from you.
Sincerely,
Toni
Some relationships aren’t meant to be a forever thing and you can’t beat yourself up every single time something doesn’t work out. Nothing is wrong with you. You aren’t bad luck. Some people are just put into your life to teach you lessons about yourself and about life that you wouldn’t have learned otherwise. For that, you should be obliged. It doesn’t make this person more or less significant to you. Even if you don’t feel as though you received a lesson from being in that relationship, you could have been a lesson for them. You could be exactly what they needed at the time but not what they need in the future. Even though you may think otherwise, sometimes, that is enough. My lesson led me to my forever.
