Let’s all be real for a second and admit that life, and most of all love, can suck majorly sometimes. After twenty years on Earth, I’ve grown tired of always feeling sorry for myself when something that I have no control over doesn’t go my way. Don’t get me wrong, it took a long while to finally have the confidence I have now, but once I grew a backbone and let whatever happens happen, it’s amazing how your perspective of everything can change.
It was my first year of high school in a new city with completely new people that I first fell in love. To save you and myself the headache I’ll summarize the relationship for you -- it was three years long and full of ups and downs. Do I regret it because it left me with a broken heart? Abso-freaking-lutely not. I can say without a doubt that it shaped me as a person. I learned that your first serious relationship isn’t going to end with you riding horseback with a prince off into the sunset. But, I also learned that you shouldn’t depend on anyone for your own happiness and that you are your own best protector.
I’ll let you in on a secret: some people are sh*tty. Now should you stay away from those people at all cost? No. Throughout my dating life I have learned so much about myself that when something doesn’t work out, it’s not the end of the world and I take something away from it.
I have learned that despite how desperately you want something to work, sometimes chocolate and jalapeno chips just don’t go well together. One thing that I realized again and again after each “break up” was that I recognized exactly what is missing from that particular relationship. Whether it was honesty or respect that was lacking, I knew that if any future relationship of mine were to work, it needed those aspects or it would be a never ending vicious cycle.
After the journey of meeting different men and learning things from my relationships and encounters with them, I am happy to say that I am in love again. However, this kind of love is different. It’s new, it’s comfortable, it’s romantic, it’s everything I could possibly want or need. Because for the first time in a while I can feel the love that my “second love” has for me, and it’s one of the best feelings in the world.
In the metaphorical minefield that is dating, you will experience heartbreak and you will break hearts, you won’t get respect when you deserve it, and there will be tears, may they be of sadness or joy. Yet as long as you remember this, broken hearts are mend-able with a little time, a glass [or two] of wine, and some chocolate. And at the end of the day it’s all okay, because you have you. And honestly, that’s all you need.
