You probably have those moments where you step outside of yourself, where you can see things objectively, from a higher point of view, from a vantage point that you previously couldn't see. You step back and see the bigger picture.
It's moments like these that I've learned to experience for when it all becomes too much, for when the thick of it keeps getting thicker, for when anxiety embeds itself into you like tiny bullets.
Dealing with anxiety is debilitating, distressing; it distorts your mind and twists your thoughts around, causing intrusive and bothersome ideas to enter your mind. Its effect is far from reality but feels incredibly real. A chain reaction of thoughts sets off, and your brain becomes rewired so that the first place you go to is intensely negative.
About 18 percent of all adults in the United States has anxiety or some kind of anxiety disorder. It's a real thing, as tangible as anything. And those who suffer from this know the feeling.
There are times you can't get out of bed and make yourself breakfast. There are times you can't talk to new people for fear of judgement. There are times you can't focus on your schoolwork or the duties your occupation demands; times when a single minuscule thing happens and suddenly you feel an overwhelming sense of dread or unease; times when a single grade on a test can trigger a panic reaction.
You get lost in the moment of anxiety. All of a sudden it consumes you and you become unable to focus on your surroundings. All of the good things about the day or your situation or whatever's around you become diminished.
This is why taking a step back is so important. Whether you are experiencing actual anxiety, or stress, or are depressed, putting everything in context is the first step to addressing what ails you.
Your step back for when it all becomes too much could be meditation, or prayer, or exercise, or talking to someone. When you talk to someone, you become aware of your situation in relation to your surroundings. When you pray, you relate to what's around you spiritually. When you exercise, you release tension. When you meditate, you become incredibly aware of your sense of self and the beat of your own heart.
When you step back, you become more accepting and content.
When you're in the middle of it, anxiety can feel like a crushing burden, a weight you have to carry around everywhere you walk. But there comes a time when it is just too much.
I've learned over the past year and a half how to make myself feel better in the midst of mayhem and intense stress and anxiety, how to feel my worth when everything made me feel worthless. It's very humbling sit back and observe every once in a while, when you need it.
Because everything becomes slightly more beautiful.
