Some people are fortunate enough to have both of their biological parents together. Some are fortunate in that they get the lucky end of the stick of not growing up in a dysfunctional family. Not necessarily bad, but a little different. A little . . . unique. But for the girls who don't get that gift of having a dad in her life, is difficult. We all naturally crave having a father in our lives, and to an extent, we still do get one - whether that just be a father figure or a role model to look up to. But at the end of the day, we can look back and realize that our want, our need, our wish for having our biological dad in our life just might be a blessing in disguise.
This is for all of the beautiful girls in the world whose dad's decided to give up on them - who quite frankly, left them high and dry when they needed their fathers the most. Who needs someone who decided not to stay and make it work with their child?
Dear girls who don't have their fathers in their lives,
This is for you, and I hope you understand that life isn't that bad. I know that you still wish you had that relationship with your father, even though you know in your heart that you deserve better, and that he was never good to you to begin with - because if he was, he would still be here, being your dad, fighting to spend time with you and to support you. I get that. I understand because my father gave up on me - and moreover, we just are two different people who aren't meant to be in each others lives.
Dear girls who don't have their fathers in their lives,
I know what it's like to feel disappointed and let down, to be caught off guard. I know what it's like to feel so proud of being the daughter of someone who you can look up to. But then, you find out the truth about them, and they're not who you thought they were. But please remember - this is not your fault, none of this is your fault. He gave up on you because he gave up on himself, not because you are not worth it or because you are hopeless. You are brave and courageous, and you can make it through, because you don't need that toxicity in your life.
Dear girls who don't have their fathers in their lives,
I understand that you still want to have that father-daughter connection, and you dream about it from time to time. It's plastered all over the media; the perfect father-daughter relationships. You envy it, and you pity yourself because you think there is something wrong with you and you don't understand what you did to deserve this fate. But you can make it through.
Dear girls who don't have their fathers in their lives,
Sometimes, we are just dealt the cards in life that we are given, and we have to look for the silver-linings, to look for the things we can be grateful for. At the end of the day, DNA means nothing. It's about the people who care about you, who support you and truly love you. Even though your father decided to leave, you still have the rest of your family - and that goes for your friends too. You have everyone that you need . . . and someday, I hope you will start to really see that. And then, that hole in your heart will start to truly fill. They say that a girl needs her father, but I say a father isn't always by blood. A true father is someone who is their for their child, through thick or thin, and loves them unconditionally, no matter what they are going through or who they become. Real fathers don't just disappear when the going gets tough. Real fathers don't just push their child's issues under the rug and walk away. They stay, no matter what.
This is for the girls who grew up without their biological father in their lives - real courage is when you finally start to accept the fact that some things in life don't work out the way that we want them to. You're better off without a man who couldn't stay and be proud of the beautiful and resilient woman that you are. I promise.
Sincerely,
A young woman who accepted a life without her biological father (and that is okay)
