Hello, Muffins (I am addressing everyone as Muffins for it is inclusive and not gender specific)!

I could say that you are all beautiful. Half of you would agree and the other half would not believe it, that is okay. We have been raised to think that putting yourself first is wrong and vain. Being in love with yourself has been considered bad, selfish, and narcissistic.

Even if we do end up falling in love with the reflection in the mirror, there is a society who is willing to tell us we are wrong if we do not fit a certain beauty standard. And on top of that, we live in a day and age where we are taught body shaming is an acceptable way to put ourselves above others. This is all false information that needs to be untaught.

Let us begin with weight. There is not a place you can go where some sort of weight loss activity/supplement is being advertised.Turning the table, you also see memes shaming heavier bodied beings and associating being chubby with stupidity and trashy. Being skinny and fit is one of the first obstacles of what it takes to be "beautiful". I put beautiful in quotations because of the narrow margin in which beauty is expected to be characterized which I will further explain. Apparently being overweight is something that automatically makes you ugly.

But wait.....who the hell is to say what is beautiful and what is not? Why is having a large belly ugly? What I think disappoints me the most is how we as a society have moved forward with sexualized bodies (i.e. butts and boobs) which is the only consideration of plus sized beauty. Weight loss has become something of a self aesthetic than a health need and that is not okay (I am not shaming people who are trying to lose weight to be healthy I am mentioning how people aspire to lose weight to fit into a "beautiful" margin).

Let us also not fail to recognize the people who see themselves as "fat" when they are at health risks. I am going to put this bluntly, whether you are skinny, overweight, etc., only you can decide whether you love the body you have created. Keep in mind size can also be accredited to genetics. Are you going to gouge out your brown eyes because society says they are not "in"? Then why would you do the same with your body?

Let us talk about beauty standards and how ridiculous they are. To put things into perspective I will create an analogy that explains beauty standards. Say you are doing a simple task ie. going to the fridge to grab an egg; however, in order to get this egg you must hop one foot for ten feet, have books balanced on your head, you can only wear a red shirt (if it is a Tuesday), and your dog has to follow you to the fridge or else you can't have the egg. If all is in good terms, you can have the egg.

That sounds ridiculous for such a simple task, right? There are your 21st century beauty standards for both male and females. The bigger question is who is there to assure that you have a red shirt and your dog by your side on your trip to the fridge? The answer is no one, just like there is no one to tell you what is and isn't beautiful. Period. Blank. End of Story.

Beauty should be based more on a self-approval level than anything. Something that sickens me the most is hearing people determining their self-love on the amount of attention of a crush or loved one. In other words, let the compliments of your loved ones or crushes be cushions and not the couch. When you do achieve self-love, do not rely on them to be the ones to determine your self-perception. Falling in love can be such a beautiful thing but it should not affect you ya beautiful thing.

Another part of the self-love movement that angers me is that is not inclusive. In other words, only women are being told it is okay to love themselves. Men, women, children and even toddlers, should be taught self-love. Self-love is not just a feminist movement for women but for everyone of color, age, and background. Self-love is essential for mental health and self-perception. Without it how would you know to take some time to yourself and care about you? Loving yourself leads to taking of yourself.

Recently I began falling in love with my nude body. I had posted a picture of my butt and the responses very-ed far and wide. I am in love with the belly that grows on my midsection and the chub on my limbs. People are so quick to associate the naked body with the sole purpose of arousing a partner but there is more meaning than that. I love the nude body that I see in the mirror and photographs and that is how I achieved self-love and adoration.

Do not feel rushed, it will come and when it does your crown will be ready.