What are the odds you have confidence issues, whether it be in public or alone in front of your mirror at home? Weird, me too. I am one of the most self-conscious people I know. To some of you, that may come as a surprise, and for others you may understand.
Over the last few years of overcoming heinous puberty stages, ugly hair days and wardrobe malfunctions, I've learned a thing or two about confidence. Growing up, my mom had always made sure I knew I was beautiful. Small gestures were made like "Hi, beautiful!" after coming home from work, or "Well, don't you look cute today!" before I would leave for school. Being my mom knew she was affecting my future-selves confidence or not, she did.
Regardless of how insecure I really am, I like to have coffee in one hand, and confidence in the other. I will straight-up tell someone I'm beautiful if they ask me. Of course, I think so! I don't say it to be conceited or to sound like I'm better than anyone, but how can you not love yourself? You only have one body, one mind and one soul. You kind of have to grow to love yourself over the span of your lifetime anyway, so might as well start early.
See, here is my issue with telling people I'm beautiful. First off, as I stated before I don't want to come off conceited. Why has that been put in everyone's minds that if you think you're good looking, "Wow, you're so vain," or, "You think your sh*t doesn't stink". But then at the same time, you see people posting, "Love yourself, love your body. Compliment yourself." If that isn't an oxymoron, I don't know what is. I want to share my own self-confidence calamities so you don't think this is another "white girl" post.
Number 1, I have cellulite. (Or as I like to call it, "Hail Damage") Good Lord, I hate it! I promise I eat decently, and workout regularly, yet sadly that doesn't help. Cellulite is genetic, so if you have these little love bumps by your booty or thighs, thank the women in your family. I read in an article that the cosmetic condition affects nearly 90 percent of women at some point during their lives, even women who are otherwise slender and fit. Let me repeat: The cosmetic condition affects nearly 90 percent of women at some point during their lives, even women who are otherwise slender and fit. If you still don't believe me, read this. I cannot stress how important that last sentence was. Ninety percent of women. That is literally almost everywhere in the world. I was going to comment about the 10 percent of women that aren't affected by this, but they are usually models, and that is what Photoshop is for. To end this rant, to the boys who publicly say cellulite, or cottage cheese legs, or dimple butt is "gross" and "unappealing," so is your personality. That's extremely rude, and women cannot control it. Sorry not sorry, but good luck trying to find a girl who doesn't have cellulite at some point in her life. Will these stupid fat cells stop me from Beyonce walking down the street, or wearing my favorite bikini? Nope.
Number 2, I have fat on my stomach. It's annoying as hell. Would I like to look like the girl I dream about looking like on Instagram? Sure, but you know what? I really like ice cream. Like, I love it. So I'm totally fine with my little kangaroo pouch. I don't like to preach that girls look better with more to them, but I am guilty of saying that in the past. It helps me feel better personally, not necessarily true to every guy or girl. The pouch will do whatever it wants anyway. So as long as I'm healthy and stay active, I can accept it.
Now that I've gotten those icky thoughts out, I can continue on trying to help others in ways I've helped myself. The first thing I can tell you to try is buying new undergarments. I remember my freshman year of college, my girlfriends and I went out and bought "Going Out Bras." Buying a new bra, and matching panties to wear under some cute outfit, while looking like a babe with your best friends really does change your attitude. I'm guilty of walking (strutting) around my room in new lingerie, and I guarantee you are as well. Wearing cute panties, and a bra that actually fits you well does wonders. Recently, I had to purchase new bras due to my boobs growing faster than I'd like, which "yay me" but nay for my bank account — geesh! I cannot stress enough how amazing it feels to wear a bra that actually fits you. Not half-ass fits and your pit fat is hanging out the side but a full on coverage bra. Try it out, go get measured and treat yourself.
The second thing I can recommend is putting a playlist together on your phone, or music device that makes you feel on top of the world. I could be vacuuming my floor and still feel like I'm a burlesque showgirl hearing Christina Aguilera tell me "I Am A Good Girl." A few of my favorite songs to listen to are, the entire Burlesque soundtrack, "Buyou" by Keri Hilson, "BO$$" by Fifth Harmony, "Walkashame" and "NO" by Meghan Trainor, and anything by Christina Aguilera. Why be moody when you can shake ya booty, am I right?
Finally, surround yourself with people who genuinely think you're beautiful. I just told one of my best friends last night shopping that she looked like a boxy pirate in a dress she tried on — now that's friendship. Surround yourself with people who will constantly make you feel beautiful inside and out, and will always be honest about wardrobe questions. Girls are known for calling someone pretty and nice behind a keyboard, or over social media but will talk awfully about them behind their back. That's not the type of crowd you want to be around; unless you do, but I can't relate. Say "F-it" to the people who aren't with you 100 percent on anything in your life.
I look up to Marilyn Monroe a lot in this aspect. Not only because she was extremely beautiful, but her dimensions were nowhere near what dimensions are now on models, and she had men gawking over her for years. So can you. Just try to remember you deserve more than you can imagine. You deserve to eat that chocolate cake, wear those new bras and panties, and feel beautiful. You deserve to love you.
