I remember ever since I was young, I always had something that I could not quite put my finger on. As time went on, I realized that I was struggling with anxiety. Everything would scare me and I would try to map out a situation in my head beforehand. This caused me to always be on guard and not really be my true self. Sometimes my thoughts were so loud that it was hard to even have a good time or simply relax. I watched other people laugh and seem to be somewhat carefree, but I could never quite reach that state of mind, I wanted to show the real side of me that I knew everyone would love, but the stress that I had been carrying for years held me back. I hated myself and often felt alone, only a select few knew the real Alyssa and I wanted to let others see that side of me too.

It was not until last year, that I began to slowly see some progress. I had gone through a rough couple of months prior to the changes and I learned that something so drastic, put me on the path that I was meant to be and it was so freeing. I remember waking up and feeling the weight of the world become less and less and I could not believe it, this was something I had wanted for so long and it all came in the midst of a hard time. My mind was clear and I was starting to become the person I had wanted to be all along.

Of course, there are some days where I feel my anxiety creeping back, but it is in these times that I have to step back and reevaluate things. It is a scary feeling to feel this emotion again, but I did not fight this hard to fall back down. If you know someone who is struggling with this disorder, be patient with them and do not judge them for what they are going through. Sometimes your words can impact a person's thoughts and this is much more painful than physical pain because it stays with them for a long period of time. Something as simple as, "Why are you so quiet" or "You never speak" can tear them apart and you may not even know it because to them they feel like they are fitting in, even if it does not seem like it. They are slowly starting to open up and the minute you call them out, it puts them back in their shell because they feel like they have been labeled and everyone now sees them as this label.

I wish I could go back and change some of the things in my past, but I cannot and I only have the future. I want anyone who is truly struggling with this, to seek counseling. It may not seem like it can help, but even just opening up to someone about your troubles and experiences can help you start to realize what is going on. There is always a way to get better and it comes with time. Be patient with yourself and be sure to surround yourself with people who are good for your soul. I never thought I would break the cycle of anxiety, but I have found that even the most troubled people find a way out. Anxiety comes knocking on my door every once in a while, but I now use what I have learned to fight back and you will too.

Remember, always have faith in yourself and never stop trying, these are the keys to success!