I know I am a college student now, but one of the things I noticed most about some couples in high school was that they based their college of choice off of their partner. I know that being in that stage of can’t-eat, can’t-sleep, reach for the stars, over the fence, World Series kind of stuff (peep the It Takes Two reference) can take you a little bit off track, but it is crucial you stick to your desires. Here is why it is so important and also healthy, that you decide what you’d like to do or where you’d like to go based off of YOU.
Your reward for hard work towards your future is singular, not plural.
I know since you were in middle school about to take that giant leap to your ninth grade year that you have been preparing yourself with dreams and ambitions of the future. Goals to get that GPA, those test scores, and extra curricular activities under your belt for that top notch, notorious university application you are determined to fill out and send. Remember who you were doing it for, don’t let that slip away.
If it’s meant to be, it will be.
A major red flag tends to go off when you think about being a few hours or even tons of miles away from your significant other. Will they forget me? What if they meet someone else? What if the distance kills us? College is your time to grow, venture out, and find who you are. It is okay and perfectly healthy to have space, a new circle of friends, and time to enjoy the life that comes with college. Trust that things will be okay. And if they end up not working out, you will never regret not doing what you always wanted to all along.
You are the one receiving the education.
College in no way is an “us” thing. This is the time you are being challenged, pushed and overall forced to be independent. You begin to shape your future and career as soon as you set foot on campus. You choose your major, your classes and your overall schedule and this has to be based off of your needs and wants without outside influences involved.
Recognize that wanting different things for each other is okay.
Part of a healthy relationship is pushing one another to grow and to become a better version of yourselves. One cannot be selfish and if this means attending different universities, it is important to be on board with that 100%. Being in a relationship does not mean tying each other down and limiting your opportunities based off of what you want in the moment.
It is different going from seeing each other everyday in high school to only on weekends or maybe once every so often once college begins. It is not an easy transition, but it is doable. Never feel guilty for wanting to go where you’d like to go because in the end, it has to be about you. The rest will fall into place and you have to trust the process. So go with your gut and ambition when you’re filling out college applications. Your future rests in nobody else’s hands but your own.
