Something I’ve recently learned about myself is that I strive to be a people pleaser. With almost every decision I have to make, I first think about how its going to effect my friends, or what my sister will think about it, or if my mom approve of it, before I ever think about what the best choice is for me. This leaves me in a constant state of anxiety praying that the choice or decision I made won’t cause anyone to dislike me or judge me or be mad at me.
As I type it out now, I realize how ridiculous this sounds. Why would I ever make a decision based on someone else’s opinion? The pressure to be liked and the fear of displeasing people is really real in college. As a junior in college -- and, basically an adult -- I figured this stage of my life would be over after high school. I figured that I would be comfortable making choices and doing whatever I wanted. Since starting college, however, it’s almost gotten worse. I’m so focused on what everyone around me will think and say if I do certain things.
It hit me this past Thanksgiving break that it was time to change something. I couldn’t live in a constant state of anxiety, trying to please everyone else, because that only made me miserable. I decided that it was okay to make decisions for me, and no one else. I decided that yes, everyone is going to make judgments and have their own opinion about everything, but I can’t let that stop me; life is too short to worry about what everyone else thinks.
So often we are tempted to make choices for the sake of making everyone else happy. It’s so easy to fall into the trap of doing things for others, rather than for yourself. It’s easy to keep saying ‘yes’ to people even though your mind is telling you no.
It’s time to be a little selfish. Think about yourself first, what you need to do and what makes you the happiest. And then go do it! If you’d rather stay in on a Friday night and watch movies instead of going out, then do it. No one will really care if you didn’t make it to that party.
You can’t please everyone and yourself. And who is the most important person? You! Something that I’ve learned is that you cannot be bothered with what other people are thinking or tiptoeing around people, afraid of making people mad. That is absolutely no way to live. Being selfish is okay. Being focused on what makes you happy is okay. And there is no way to make everyone happy, it’s impossible to stretch yourself that thin. So be selfish, do something for yourself and make decisions based on what you want to do. There is no one more important than you.
