“So, did you guys, like, hookup?” A question I’ve asked, been asked, and have heard being asked countless times. Then usually comes the squirm-provoking, follow-up question of what exactly constitutes a hookup. Is it sex? Is it making-out? Or is it somewhere in between?
When I first came to Geneseo, my roommate and I, as most girls do, talked about boys. It was a very early conversation of ours, but still one that came after we had begun to trust each other. We talked for hours about boyfriends, our experiences, our heartbreaks, and our hookups. We realized that we both had very different definitions. My understanding had always been that if two people were hooking up, they were “doing it.” Maybe that was the naivety of high school talking, but after coming to Geneseo, I realized that mostly it was because I was very uninformed.
Hookup culture encompasses a wide, gray area that college students around the nation are becoming familiar with. It can most generally be defined as two people coming together for a physical experience without expectations for anything serious in the future. The amount of uncertainty involved raises the question about whether or not this lifestyle should be practiced. There are two main perspectives through which to address this question: through gender stereotypes, and also by looking at the psychological effects.
As a gender-related issue, hookup culture is very much a double-edged sword. This can be seen even just in the wording of certain phrases associated with the practice. Girls who engage in a casual hookup and lose their virginity, or even simply have sex with their partner (having already lost their virginity to a previous partner), can be called “sluts” or be criticized for “giving it up,” whereas guys involved in hookups are encouraged, sometimes even expected, to have sex with the girl they’re seeing. If they are successful, they are congratulated for “getting some.” On a personal level, I’ve watched peers scrutinize girls for being involved casually with more than one guy simultaneously, but I also have a male friend who has been applauded and clapped on the back because he’s hooking up with four girls.
However, the continuation of gender stratification isn’t the only result of hook up culture. According to an article by Livia Gershon, a survey from 2006 at the University of Tennessee found that those women who were diagnosed with depression were most likely to become involved in hookups. Researchers also hypothesized that this was because the women found casual sex as a way to handle their mental illness. They also inferred that the women “might be perpetuating a negative cycle by unconsciously engaging in sex in doomed relationships.”
However, the study did not investigate into the psychological effects on men, which led me to look elsewhere for insight. While there was no conclusive data on the psychological effects in relation solely to men, in an article by Medical Daily, the researchers found that hookups caused noticeable psychological distress for both genders. In addition, in a survey that questioned college students the morning after a hookup, 41 percent stated that they felt “sad, regretful, and ambivalent.”
By all means, I am not an anti-hookup advocate. In fact, I would probably consider myself a fan. Hookup culture allows for freedom and experimentation. It can also really help to build up one’s confidence. However, hookups are about more than just a one-night stand or having a friends-with-benefits. We need to address the flip side of the coin -- the thoughts that most people have probably once contemplated, but never questioned out loud.
