We all joke from time to time that a class makes us want to "kill ourselves" or "fml" or making a joke and your friend says "kill yourself". The real fact is that it doesn't strike home until you actually witness the death of someone that you know very well. It's crazy how sometimes people get taken away from your life and you don't realize that they're actually gone until you just realize - you'll never see or talk to them ever again because they're...gone.

I lost my grandmother in August of last year. She was a good, nay, great woman who cared for everything and everyone and never ever got mad even when things were not going her way. She was the type of woman who believed in many things, from science to fads, nutrition to "miracle pills", Buddha and God. My family lost her too soon in my opinion, but she had lived a great and long life, although the last couple of her years were plagued with fake miracle pills that Chinese broadcasters would market. She was my guardian and someone who was always on my side from when I was 5 to 9, then my grandparents decided that they wanted to move back to China, where the majority of the family was. I didn't see her a lot after that, and I really wish I had been able to see her one last time.

Recently, my of my friends in high school passed away while swimming. I don't like admitting it, but I was more sad than when my grandmother passed, because I saw him just months ago. He was a quirky, athletic and extremely intelligent person who always had time to approach and talk to me even when both of us were busy. I miss our late night talks where he would ask me about how to apply to college and what tests to take. He was also a stud at swimming and a tremendous athlete who was always humble about his achievements no matter what. I wasn't the closest friend with him because we were very different people (he was an all-state swimmer and straight A student and also a grade younger with an extremely bright future), but he was always someone to talk to. He was one of the only people to actually approach me and say something witty and always make my day. And unlike my grandmother, he still had the rest of his life to experience and it's so unfair.

I'm a rather passive person. I always look forward to the next thing in life and sometimes try to stay in the moment and enjoy it. When I hear bad news, I typically shrug it off and try not to let it bring me down too much. I'm the type of person who doesn't miss home and don't miss my parents too much because I like to look forward to all the great things that I can accomplish in the future and the step I need to take to get there. Sometimes though, I wish I wasn't so like that. Crying a bit is okay, and remembering someone's life is also important. It makes me appreciate life more and to acknowledge how fleeting life is. It's something to enjoy.