Everyone is flawed. Now, I don’t mean physically -- but, yes, we’re all filled with physical flaws, and we should own them as the traits that make us individuals, because individuality is the most beautiful thing in the world.
No, when I say everyone is flawed, I mean everyone has parts of their personality or core character that just doesn’t jive with the rest of the population or negatively impacts their life. If you’re like me then you are way too familiar with your own negative attributes, and do not need anyone to point them out.
Off the top of my head I can come up with three major personality “flaws” of mine: I have a tendency to become defensive because I take things too personally, I have no volume control which embarrasses my loved ones and I have an explosive temper which is very rarely an issue but definitely not something anyone wants to get caught in.
And I’m trying to work on those things, but they aren't quick fixes. There is progress! It’s painstakingly slow - but it’s there. In 224 days I’ve only had five major fights where my defensiveness and temper were a big issue, which means that 0.022 percent of my year so far has been affected by my flaws.
But despite those flaws, there is one flaw that I find to be even more detrimental in terms of living my daily life and (as comedian Ali Wong puts it), achieving “inner peace and my optimal level of success.”
Procrastination!
I consider myself to be a hard worker. I am a perfectionist who doesn’t accept grades below a B+ (grudgingly), and I have an overall A- average. I choose difficult classes and enjoy jobs that challenge me to work outside the box. I am a double major with a minor (which, if all works out, will be a third major).
So it is safe to say that I am an overachieving perfectionist who enjoys challenges. But, I am an overachieving perfectionist who is the biggest procrastinator you will ever meet. I procrastinate on basically everything from getting my eyebrows waxed, touching up my roots, doing homework, writing papers, folding (clean) laundry and even packing. And guess what I am doing right now? Or better yet, guess why I am writing this?
I am supposed to be packing to return to college on Wednesday. It is Friday. I have to start packing to figure out what I am sending ahead in UPS or U.S. Mail, and what I am bringing. All of my clothes are cleaned, and ready to be packed. And yet, I am sitting on my bed next to my dog, listening to Britney Spears, writing about how I know I need to stop procrastinating.
But why do I procrastinate?
Well, the truth is, I like the chaos it creates. I like the sense of urgency I feel when I look at a clock or calendar and realize I am basically out of time, and need to get something done. That panic makes me work faster, clearer and harder. When I have time to do something, it usually results in me playing around online for the majority of my self-scheduled work time, and then I give up because I convince myself, “Well, I mean today’s shot anyway, might as well start fresh tomorrow.” Seriously, I have said this to myself. And I know I’m not the only one.
The first step to solving a problem is admitting you have a problem. Well, I have a problem. I am a serial procrastinator. And I am hoping that writing this will be the kick in the butt I need to start trying to adjust my behavior. Because while our flaws make us individuals, some flaws hurt us more than they’re worth keeping, and I really want to reach my "optimal level of success."
