Confidence is an extremely attractive trait that's admired by many; especially those that don't have much. A lack of confidence can be a handicap in many different situations, workplace, social, personal, or otherwise.
When you have faith in yourself and a firm standing in who you are, you can present yourself to the world in a way that shows people that it's safe for them to have faith in you. If you tend to fall more on the shy end of the spectrum, like many people, you might be able to benefit from what you're about to read.
1. It's OK to be a little vain.
Let's back up here. What I mean is, it's okay to take a little extra time and dedicate it to your appearance. In the grammatically incorrect words of an old coach I once had, "when you feel good, you do good." Cringe-worthy, I know, but still true. When you feel good about yourself, you're more likely to present yourself in a way that portrays the confidence that you might be lacking on the inside. Put together a few outfits that make you feel really good about yourself, learn how to flick your eyeliner, stop walking out of the house with wild hair. You don't look "I woke up like this" flawless, you look like a mess. Seriously, get it together and put your best foot forward (preferably with a cute shoe on that foot).
2. Do your research.
I find that the times when I feel my most vulnerable are when I'm somewhere where I have no idea what's going on. That's kind of obvious, but really, have you ever sat in class just praying that the instructor doesn't call on you because you didn't do the reading? It's kind of the same way in other areas of life. Going somewhere new and meeting new people? Do a little research and find out what you're walking into so you know how to carry yourself! First week of class? Read your syllabus and do your homework. When you're prepared for whatever situation you know you might walk into that day, you'll be less likely to be caught off guard. Don't let them see you sweat- know your stuff!
3. Know that no one cares about you (note: this is not bad!)
This is sounds a little harsh, but it needs to be said. People are pretty self-centered, and they're not paying attention to you. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do." This couldn't be more true. Chances are that everyone is so busy being wrapped up in their own little worlds, that they're not taking notes on what you're doing at all. Unless you're in an interview type situation, you can be pretty confident (ha) that no one is paying you as much mind as you think. Once you fully wrap your head around this concept, it'll be a lot easier to breathe a sigh of relief and just focus on yourself.
4. Fake it till you make it.
When you're walking into a new situation, keep in mind that no one knows you, and no one knows how you usually act. You could be the shyest, most introverted person in the world, but a room full of strangers would never know the difference if you were suddenly a social butterfly. It can be really hard to deny your natural tendencies to shy away from new people and new experiences, but challenging yourself to be someone new for even a few hours can be extremely rewarding. When you feel like breaking eye contact, don't. When you want to run away from a social situation, don't. Deny every instinct you have and fake the new, confident you until that's who you really are. Before long you won't even notice you're doing it, because you will have formed patterns for yourself every time you enter an unfamiliar situation.
5. Control your negative self thought.
When you're trying to present yourself in a more confident way to other people, don't tear yourself down simultaneously! Getting passed the roadblocks in your own head is half the battle. If you know you're lacking in confidence, identify the places in your life where your issue could be self-inflicted. Are you constantly critiquing every social interaction you have? Are you engaging in situations where you don't know what you're talking about? Are you agonizing over little details that other people aren't even noticing? Find the places in your own head that could use improvement and tackle them. Try writing them out and then trying to find the root to each one of them.
Gaining confidence is mostly about getting out of your own head and getting back in touch with your goals. Visualize where you want to be in your life, and take the steps to get there, no matter how scary. Never let the fear of insecurity hold you back from trying to achieve something great, because nine times out of ten, you're not the only one faking your bold attitude. It's important to realize that other people are doing this too, and therefore not paying as much attention to you as you think. It can be scary at first to deny your insecurities and feign confidence, but the rewards will far outweigh the uphill battle to get there. You can do it! The next step is to just get out there and try.
