Grief is dynamic in nature and can come from a variety of sources. Sometimes we experience grief through the loss of a loved one, uncontrollable change, or simply not having a grasp on the events happening within our lives. But grief is not always a bad thing. During those times that we experience grief, we are given the chance to learn a great deal about ourselves and what truly matters to us. When I lost my mother, I constantly wished that my time of grieving would end, but in retrospect, I'm completely thankful for all the things I've learned from it.
1. Change is okay.
Personally I've never been a huge fan of change, but when I was forced to deal with it, I was able to see that good can come with change. Now I'm not saying that the death of someone or whatever the circumstances your put in is good, but with this uncontrollable change, I was able to cultivate relationships I never thought I would have.
2. Grief is a part of healing.
There really isn't a time limit on how long or short your grieving will take. It varies with every situation and person. I came to the realization that healing is not a race and eventually with time and patience, balance will be resorted.
3. You will see things differently.
I can't tell you how many things I could care less about now that I've dealt with a life altering experience. Stressing about getting a perfect grade on an exam or panicking about not making it to class on time are a thing of the past. Grief has a funny way of teaching you where your time is better spent, and that not everything is the end of the world.
4. You learn who really cares about you.
So many people told me that they were just a phone call away after my mother died, but I realized that most of the time they simply said it out of politeness. I never needed an army of people to be there for me, but it was surprising to see how many of those people disappeared from my life after the dust had settled. It's okay though, because now I know who will always be there to stand by my side on the good and bad days.
5. You will become a different person.
Most importantly I learned that grief reveals who you truly are. I have unintentionally changed through my grief and that's okay. I care about different things and put effort into things I never thought I would have before. In the time that I spent in my grief, I was able to reflect on a lot in my life and after my reflection, I altered my mindset to produce a better outcome for my future.
Just because events occur that shake up your world causing you to face sadness head on, doesn't mean that there has to be a negative take away from that situation. Yes grief is not fun, and yes you wish you could change what has happened to you, but you can also learn so much about yourself and that is a beautiful thing. Hold on to your right to grieve, regardless of the circumstances, and remember that there are many more things to come in life that will make you grateful for the times that life was a bit rocky.
