We all struggle, from time to time, with self-love. We are our own biggest critics. We amplify our own mistakes and tend to focus on our weaknesses rather than our strengths -- but we are our own best resource and our minds are powerful. If you change the way you see yourself, you can make the switch from being your own worst enemy to your own best friend.
Here are some steps to loving yourself more, because who doesn’t want more love?
1. Notice how you talk to yourself.
Take note of what you say and how you talk to yourself. You might be thinking, This girl is crazy. I don’t talk to myself, but we all do. We all have the little voice inside our head that we have a constant conversation with. Take note of what the little voice is saying; this is your self-talk. Is it nice and supportive, or does it critique you and try to tear you down? Ultimately, we want the voice to be our friend. Even if the voice inside your head is currently an enemy, the first step to converting that enemy into an ally is just being aware of it. Determine the type of relationship you have with the voice inside your head.
2. Don’t let others influence how you see yourself.
It’s hard not to let other people get to you, but often times self-love is about forgetting other people's opinions. Don’t take anything personally. When someone says or does something offensive, don’t let it get to you. The harsh and hurtful words of someone else cannot affect you unless you let them. Think about the nursery rhyme, “I am rubber you are glue, whatever bounces off of me sticks to you." When we were little, we heard that a lot. Yet as we got older, the words of others started to take more effect and shape our way of thinking. Be rubber. Let things bounce off of you and make the choice to no longer believe the negativity. If you choose not to accept the negative opinions of others, it leaves you with the chance to form your own positive opinions about yourself. Let those opinions be based on self-love!
3. Know that you are wonderful just the way you are.
We all have our strengths and weaknesses, and that’s okay. It’s human nature to magnify our imperfections and downplay our strong points, but part of loving yourself for who you are is accepting faults and focusing on assets. There's always room for improvement, but it’s important to accept that you are doing your best and are enough just the way you are now.
4. Give yourself positive affirmations.
It is so important to give yourself encouraging and kind words. Giving yourself positive affirmations will help you to convert the little voice inside your head to a friend. Anytime you begin to think negatively about yourself, repeat a positive affirmation. You might not believe the affirmation at first but if you hear anything enough you will begin to believe it. Changing your self-talk is one of the biggest ways you can start to change your mindset and begin having more self-love.
5. Realize that it is okay to love yourself!
A lot of the time we feel bad about feeling good, but you shouldn’t feel bad about loving yourself. Society often tells us that we should feel guilty about having self-love. We’re taught to feel guilty about appreciating ourselves and not to publicize our accomplishments because it can be seen as bragging, but there is nothing wrong with celebrating our achievements and being confident. There is a difference between confidence and cockiness. Confidence is a beautiful thing to have. Be proud of your strengths and accomplishments. Honor your uniqueness and be yourself, because nobody does you better than you.
